IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3.5

Some think increasing business and cultural contact between nations is positive. Others think it leads to the disappearance of the national identity. Discuss both views and state your own opinion.

#think #business #contact #nations #disappearance #identity
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Over the years international businesses have been increased and
this
Linking Words
 opens a way of cultural interaction between nations. Some believe
this
Linking Words
 swap leads to
demolish
Wrong verb form
demolishing
show examples
 of the local's identity, while others believe that it has a huge positive impact on the community. In my opinion, the expansion of business overseas has a magnificent positive impact on every country. On the one hand, some believe that
this
Linking Words
 transaction of trades overseas leads to
develop
Replace the word
development
show examples
 of many good improvements in both economic and cultural interaction.
Which
Correct pronoun usage
This
show examples
in
Correct your spelling
is
show examples
 a result leads to an increase in the awareness of people to
adopt
Correct your spelling
adapt
show examples
 to some foreign experience in collaboration with their own local identity to create a better adapted one without erasing local practice.
For instance
Linking Words
, Sudan adapts some power-saving ideas from Egypt and
this
Linking Words
 lead to great
resources
Fix the agreement mistake
resource
show examples
 saving plus improvements in the local income.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, some who consider that international business has a negative impact on the local skill argue that because more outsiders will live in the country and marge with the locals and that will lead to demolishing of the individual cultures. For ,example the overseas exchange between
qatar
Change the capitalization
Qatar
show examples
 and
indiia
Correct your spelling
India
 has led over the years to evaporate Qatar identity and adapt to the Indian ability
such
Linking Words
 as food or dress or even behaviour. To conclude, the international transfer of business and
skill
Correct your spelling
still
show examples
 have a major role in developing any country
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
 the good of all mankind.
Submitted by M222a on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: