With the improvements in today’s health care, society has to care for more and more elderly people. Do you feel that society will be able to cope with the increase in numbers of elderly people today and how can it be managed?

#improvements #today’s #health #care #society #people #numbers

We can not deny the fact that in our modern time

people

live more than a few decades ago.So,the topic of care of elderly

people

and their increase has become quite popular nowadays.Let us consider

this

question more deeply.

Firstly

,I think that our society is able to help elderly

people

.Because of the fact that we have new inventions and technologies which facilitate custody of old

people

Also

,today we know more about the human body and illness than in the past .So we can make concerns about them improved.

However

,a lot of work about the prosperity of old

people

were done ,but we could improve it.

First

and foremost ,we can not think that concerns about elderly

people

it is efforts of old

people

's home only.Children and grandchildren must visit their grandparents .If they were not done it , the mental health of old

people

could deteriorate.

On the other hand

,we can observe that numbers of

people

feel that society will be able to cope with the increase in the numbers of elderly

people

.These

people

are afraid that in close future they and their children do not have enough space on our planet because of the increasing of old

people

.In my opinion, these statements are not correct and are some kind of non-human.Old

people

in the past built for

Change the pronoun

our

show examples

towns and won wars to make our lives happy and now it is our turn to protect and care for them. To draw the conclusion ,I can say that our modern society is able to deal with the increase of old

people

.In my opinion,it is our duty to care about them.

Submitted by gleblozik72 on Sun Dec 19 2021

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Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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6Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Grammar mistakes
 

6 paragraphs

273 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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With the improvements in today’s health care, society has to care for more and more elderly people. Do you feel that society will be able to cope with the increase in numbers of elderly people today and how can it be managed?

Fully explain your ideas

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Many people around the world use social media every day to keep in touch with others people and get new events. Do you think the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

Schools should focus on academic success and passing examinations. Skills such as cookery, dressmaking and woodwork should not be taught at school as it is better to learn these from family and friends. To that extent do you agree or disagree.

Large companies should pay higher salaries to CEOs and executives compared to other workers. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people think that all teenagers should be required to do unpaid work in their free time to help the local community. They believe this would benefit both the individual teenager and society as a whole. Do you agree or disagree?