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Writing Samples
Band 4

In many large cities, people waste hours of their time every day because of traffic congestion on the roads. What are the cause of this? What solution can you suggest?

#cities #people #waste #hours #time #traffic #congestion #roads
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Nowadays, in numerous cities, individuals are involved in getting stuck in
traffics
Correct subject-verb agreement
traffic
show examples
 on a daily basis.
However
, they can use the remarkable
hours
 to learn new skills or read books. I believe, exploring the cause of
this
 problem can assist in finding suitable solutions to resolve it. The lack of interest in utilizing public
transports
Fix the agreement mistake
transport
show examples
 by
people
 could partly account for increasing traffic congestion. Owing to buses and subway stations being often late and crowded,
people
 prefer to use their personal cars. To address
this
 issue, it is my view that governments should spend a sizable amount of money on developing public
transports
Fix the agreement mistake
transport
show examples
.
Consequently
, if
people
 are able to use their time more beneficial, they would trend towards utilizing buses or subways.
For example
, in a suitable and calm place, they are able to read new books
instead
 of driving in heavy
traffics
Correct subject-verb agreement
traffic
show examples
. The
long-distance
Correct your spelling
long distance
show examples
of
Change preposition
between
show examples
 workplaces from
peoples’
Change noun form
people’s
show examples
 homes could
also
 explain why individuals have to waste
hours
 in traffic congestion.
Due to
 the fact that most commercial buildings are located in the centre of large cities,
while
 their employees are living in the countryside and must spend remarkable
hours
 to get them. One effective way to resolve
this
 problem could be changing the civil architecture
by
Change preposition
of
show examples
 their authorities.
As a result
 of companies
had
Wrong verb form
having
show examples
 to get in touch with each other in the past,
this
 kind of placement had been common.
However
, nowadays, they benefit from online communication.
To conclude
, even though
people
 are not drawn to using public
transports
Fix the agreement mistake
transport
show examples
 and their workplaces are often away from their homes
and
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
it
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
 cause
be
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
wasted
hours
 in traffic, governments are able to remedy
this
 difficulty. I believe,
changing
Correct word choice
that changing
show examples
 the
architect
Replace the word
architecture
show examples
 of cities and developing public
transports
Fix the agreement mistake
transport
show examples
 are steps in the right direction.
Submitted by payam_phk on

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Task Achievement
Ensure that all parts of the task are addressed fully. Provide a clear opinion and support it with relevant examples.
Coherence and Cohesion
Organize ideas logically and coherently. Use cohesive devices to connect ideas and information.
Lexical Resource
Expand your range of vocabulary. Use more precise and varied vocabulary to express ideas effectively.
Grammatical Range
Pay attention to sentence structure, punctuation, and word forms. Engage in more complex and accurate use of grammar.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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