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Experts say older people were happier and healthier in the past because they did more excercise and spend more time with their family and friends whereas now many suffer loneliness and health problems.What are the causes o this and what are some solutions

#experts #people #excercise #time #friends #loneliness #health
It is often argued that in the past,
people
 were very happy and healthy in their lives and
invest
Wrong verb form
invested
show examples
 their
time
 more in family and friends.
However
, nowadays they are isolated and suffer from
heath
Correct your spelling
health
show examples
 causes. In
this
 essay, I will explain the reasons and solutions to curb
this
 problem in the coming paragraphs before reaching a solid conclusion. To start with, there are a plethora of reasons behind
this
 situation. First of all,
people
 are most isolated and busier in their
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
show examples
. In
this
 modern era, all individuals invest their
time
 to focus on their careers rather than spending
time
 with their loved ones. So, in the end, they have left no one to share problems
as a result
 of
this
, they fall into
depressions
Fix the agreement mistake
depression
show examples
.
For example
, in the UK, 50% of successful business
people
 are in depression because of loneliness. The second reason is that human beings are living in the virtual world.
People
 have been stuck with their social media.
Moreover
, Youngsters prefer to chat with other
people
 by avoiding their family values.
For instance
, masses glued their eyes on screens and just sit in one place all day,
as a result
, they suffer from health issues like weak eyesight and obesity. To overcome the above problems,
people
 have to be encouraged to do physical activities. If they do exercises or yoga regularly, they can reduce their stress
as well as
 their health problems
too
Rephrase
apply
show examples
.
For example
, during
people
's busy schedules, they have to steal only 20 minutes for themselves on
daily
Correct article usage
a daily
show examples
 basis for a morning walk or meditation.
Moreover
, youngsters have to spend some
time
 with their families. Parents' experiences will
be helped
Wrong verb form
help
show examples
 kids to know the world in the future and increase more interaction between them.
Afterward
Change the spelling
Afterwards
show examples
, the government can organize seminars to encourage
people
 to do physical activities. To exemplify, the government can make beautiful parks and easy access to gyms.
To conclude
,
it is clear that
 there are various reasons for
this
 problem, but solutions are available. if we begin to tackle the issue now, we may be able to prevent the situation from declining
further
.
Submitted by kawankaur on

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task achievement
Provide more specific examples to support your arguments.
coherence cohesion
Ensure a clear introduction and conclusion to provide a better structure to your essay.
lexical resource
Expand your vocabulary to enhance the quality of your writing.
grammatical range
Pay attention to sentence structures and aim for a wider range of sentence types.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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