Many manufactured food and drink products contain high levels of sugar which causes many health problems sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar.

#food #drink #products #levels #sugar #health #people

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Sugar

Use synonyms

consuming

Wrong verb form

consumed

show examples

widely. Many critics have cited that as high levels of

sugar

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causes

Change the verb form

cause

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different

health

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issues, Foods containing

sugar

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should become expensive.

However

Linking Words

, it seems

this

Linking Words

is not an appropriate way to reduce

sugar

Use synonyms

people

Use synonyms

’s

diet

Fix the agreement mistake

diets

show examples

. On the one hand, making

sugar

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more expensive than what it

is now do

Change the verb form

now does

show examples

not make

sugar

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harder to approach for everyone, but for

people

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who

are not have

Change the verb form

do not have

show examples

a decent salary.

This

Linking Words

might cause difficulties concerning public order since many feel they are not as valuable as others. Governments’ public trust

also

Linking Words

damages

Wrong verb form

damaged

show examples

. It is true that more restricted access to

sugar

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provide

Change the verb form

provides

show examples

physical

health

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benefits, but hardly its disadvantages are deniable.

Furthermore

Linking Words

this

Linking Words

kind of direct manipulation

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show examples

citizens’ life might endanger

people

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’s liberty. As governments can start to control their

people

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with simple actions

such

Linking Words

as making

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

unhealthy eatable like

sugar

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more expensive. Gradually, the pattern could be followed and, might end in

Remove the article

apply

show examples

mass surveillance. It seems actions like making

sugar

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expensive even for the public’s benefit not only does not bring any achievement for the societies buts

also

Linking Words

many severe difficulties would stem from it. It might be said that

Remove the comma

apply

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humans’

health

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is so crucial, and any essential policy should be considered in order to enhance it.

However

Linking Words

, imposing restrictions for damaging

eatable

Fix the agreement mistake

eatables

show examples

such

Linking Words

sugar

Use synonyms

causes

considerable

Change the article

a considerable

the considerable

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number of issues

which

Correct pronoun usage

that

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outweigh its benefits. To conclude, it appears wise to do not

make

Fix the infinitive

to make

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sugar

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more expensive to reduce its use to ameliorate

people

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health

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; many problems might be originated for citizens in

this

Linking Words

way. As an example,

people

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become unsatisfied

from

Change preposition

with

show examples

governments.

However

Linking Words

, many have argued that drinks and food including

sugar

Use synonyms

cause

health

Use synonyms

problem

Fix the agreement mistake

problems

show examples

thus

Linking Words

sugar

Use synonyms

should become expensive.

Submitted by TUTOO on Tue Dec 21 2021

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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6
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
17
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.5

Complete response

6.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

286 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

health problems
manufactured food and drink products
sugary products
excessive sugar consumption
discourage
promote
healthier choices
reduce
increased taxes
fund
health education
prevention programs

What to do next:

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Many manufactured food and drink products contain high levels of sugar which causes many health problems sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar.

Fully explain your ideas

“Prison is the only truly effective form of punishment, because it separates criminals from society.” To what extent do you support this view? You should give reasons for your answer, and include ideas and examples from your own knowledge and experience.

Living in a country where you have to speak a foreign language can cause serious social problems, as well as practical problems. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

In many countries, traditional foods are being replaced by international fast foods. This is having a negative effect on both families and societies. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Every year more students to study online rather than attend classes on campus What you think the causes of this trends?What are the solution for that

Write a letter to the hotel, making the arrangements. In your letter •tell them when you will be arriving and leaving •explain what type of rooms you would like, and ask how much the weekend will cost •ask about activities and places of interest near the hotel