Many manufactured food and drink products contain high levels of sugar which causes many health problems sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar.

#food #drink #products #levels #sugar #health #people

Sugar

consuming

Wrong verb form

consumed

show examples

widely. Many critics have cited that as high levels of

sugar

causes

Change the verb form

cause

show examples

different

health

issues, Foods containing

sugar

should become expensive.

However

, it seems

this

is not an appropriate way to reduce

sugar

people

’s

diet

Fix the agreement mistake

diets

show examples

. On the one hand, making

sugar

more expensive than what it

is now do

Change the verb form

now does

show examples

not make

sugar

harder to approach for everyone, but for

people

who

are not have

Change the verb form

do not have

show examples

a decent salary.

This

might cause difficulties concerning public order since many feel they are not as valuable as others. Governments’ public trust

also

damages

Wrong verb form

damaged

show examples

. It is true that more restricted access to

sugar

provide

Change the verb form

provides

show examples

physical

health

benefits, but hardly its disadvantages are deniable.

Furthermore

this

kind of direct manipulation

Change preposition

show examples

citizens’ life might endanger

people

’s liberty. As governments can start to control their

people

with simple actions

such

as making

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

unhealthy eatable like

sugar

more expensive. Gradually, the pattern could be followed and, might end in

Remove the article

apply

show examples

mass surveillance. It seems actions like making

sugar

expensive even for the public’s benefit not only does not bring any achievement for the societies buts

also

many severe difficulties would stem from it. It might be said that

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

humans’

health

is so crucial, and any essential policy should be considered in order to enhance it.

However

, imposing restrictions for damaging

eatable

Fix the agreement mistake

eatables

show examples

such

sugar

causes

considerable

Change the article

a considerable

the considerable

show examples

number of issues

which

Correct pronoun usage

that

show examples

outweigh its benefits. To conclude, it appears wise to do not

make

Fix the infinitive

to make

show examples

sugar

more expensive to reduce its use to ameliorate

people

health

; many problems might be originated for citizens in

this

way. As an example,

people

become unsatisfied

from

Change preposition

with

show examples

governments.

However

, many have argued that drinks and food including

sugar

cause

health

problem

Fix the agreement mistake

problems

show examples

thus

sugar

should become expensive.

Submitted by TUTOO on Tue Dec 21 2021

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

6Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
17Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

286 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.5

Complete response

6.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

Topic Vocabulary:

health problems
manufactured food and drink products
sugary products
excessive sugar consumption
discourage
promote
healthier choices
reduce
increased taxes
fund
health education
prevention programs

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

4.5
band
Many rare species are being poached. What are the reasons behind this? What can be done about this problem/?
Without out doubt,nowadays, species which are rare being hunted illegally, and those species are numerous.There are several causes of this alarming trend, but mesaures could certainly be taken to solve this problem.
4.5
band
Experts say older people were happier and healthier in the past because they did more exercise and spent more time with family and friends. Whereas now may suffer loneless and health problems. What are the cause and what are some solution
Nowadays geriatric people suffer isolation and health issues comparing to bygone days. In the past time, older people have maintain their physical and mental health by spending time not only for family and friends but also for exercise. This essay will delve into major causes of this problem and put forward some practical solution to tackle it.
8
band
Many governments think that economic progress is their most important goal. Some people, however, think that other types of progress are equally important for a country. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
People have different views about how governments should measure their countries' progress. While economic progress is of course essential, I agree with those who believe that other measures of progress are just as important.
8
band
Today, people are surrounded by advertising. This affects what people think is important and has a negative impact on people's lives. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?
There is no denying that the advertising industry has prospered in recent decades and has permeated many aspects of everyday life, including preferences. However, from my point of view, the growth of the advertising industry is anything but positive, as it has led to a distortion of reality and consumer over-consumption.
4.5
band
Deforestation is one of the major issues which need to be tackled. Explore the causes and consequences of deforestation. What strategies, according to you, can be used to promote sustainable forestry and reforestation?
It is universally acknowledged that forest plays a key role in not only humans’ lives but also animals’. Thus, preserving it is the onus of every individual. This essay will debate the causes of deforestation and its result along with proposing some practical solutions.

Many manufactured food and drink products contain high levels of sugar which causes many health problems sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar.

Fully explain your ideas

Many rare species are being poached. What are the reasons behind this? What can be done about this problem/?

Experts say older people were happier and healthier in the past because they did more exercise and spent more time with family and friends. Whereas now may suffer loneless and health problems. What are the cause and what are some solution

Many governments think that economic progress is their most important goal. Some people, however, think that other types of progress are equally important for a country. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Today, people are surrounded by advertising. This affects what people think is important and has a negative impact on people's lives. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Deforestation is one of the major issues which need to be tackled. Explore the causes and consequences of deforestation. What strategies, according to you, can be used to promote sustainable forestry and reforestation?