Many manufactured food and drink products contain high levels of sugar which causes many health problems sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar.

#food #drink #products #levels #sugar #health #people

Sugar

consuming

Wrong verb form

consumed

show examples

widely. Many critics have cited that as high levels of

sugar

causes

Change the verb form

cause

show examples

different

health

issues, Foods containing

sugar

should become expensive.

However

, it seems

this

is not an appropriate way to reduce

sugar

people

’s

diet

Fix the agreement mistake

diets

show examples

. On the one hand, making

sugar

more expensive than what it

is now do

Change the verb form

now does

show examples

not make

sugar

harder to approach for everyone, but for

people

who

are not have

Change the verb form

do not have

show examples

a decent salary.

This

might cause difficulties concerning public order since many feel they are not as valuable as others. Governments’ public trust

also

damages

Wrong verb form

damaged

show examples

. It is true that more restricted access to

sugar

provide

Change the verb form

provides

show examples

physical

health

benefits, but hardly its disadvantages are deniable.

Furthermore

this

kind of direct manipulation

Change preposition

show examples

citizens’ life might endanger

people

’s liberty. As governments can start to control their

people

with simple actions

such

as making

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

unhealthy eatable like

sugar

more expensive. Gradually, the pattern could be followed and, might end in

Remove the article

apply

show examples

mass surveillance. It seems actions like making

sugar

expensive even for the public’s benefit not only does not bring any achievement for the societies buts

also

many severe difficulties would stem from it. It might be said that

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

humans’

health

is so crucial, and any essential policy should be considered in order to enhance it.

However

, imposing restrictions for damaging

eatable

Fix the agreement mistake

eatables

show examples

such

sugar

causes

considerable

Change the article

a considerable

the considerable

show examples

number of issues

which

Correct pronoun usage

that

show examples

outweigh its benefits. To conclude, it appears wise to do not

make

Fix the infinitive

to make

show examples

sugar

more expensive to reduce its use to ameliorate

people

health

; many problems might be originated for citizens in

this

way. As an example,

people

become unsatisfied

from

Change preposition

with

show examples

governments.

However

, many have argued that drinks and food including

sugar

cause

health

problem

Fix the agreement mistake

problems

show examples

thus

sugar

should become expensive.

Submitted by TUTOO on Tue Dec 21 2021

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Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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6Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
17Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

286 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.5

Complete response

6.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

health problems
manufactured food and drink products
sugary products
excessive sugar consumption
discourage
promote
healthier choices
reduce
increased taxes
fund
health education
prevention programs

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Many manufactured food and drink products contain high levels of sugar which causes many health problems sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar.

Fully explain your ideas

Write a letter to the manager of a cinema (movie theatre) about a jacket you have left behind after a film. In your letter: Describe the jacket Describe where you were seated Explain what you want to be done

At the present time, populations of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people. Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages whats ypur opinion?

A friend wants to get some information about an elementary school where one of your cousins studies. Write a letter to this friend. In your letter, •say why this school is a good elementary school •mention how expensive it is • explain why your friend should get his/her child admitted there

Without capital punishment (the death penalty) our lives are less secure and crimes of violence increase. Capital punishment in essential to control violence in society. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

In some places, money earned from tourism has become an important part of the economy. What are the advantages and disadvantages of replying on tourism as a major source of revenue.