Some people believe that teaching music in schools is a vital part of growing up and the human experience, whilst others believe that teaching music in schools is a waste of time and resources.

#people #music #schools #part #whilst #waste #time #resources

It is an irrefutable fact that

music

is a crucial

part

of our lives. It pleasures the mind with its rhythm and melody. As we all know,it has different branches, but they all have the same effect on people.

Music

gives us a sense of thoughtfulness and helps us relax. The

first

reason why I think

music

in schools is a vital

part

of growing up and the human experience is meditation or relaxation. Students who attend

Correct your spelling

high school

show examples

highschool

Correct your spelling

high school

show examples

or college are stressed a lot due to their activities and homework. Joining

music

classes or attending school plays can clear the mind from harmful thoughts and form positive thoughts

such

as their goals and their future. To put it simply,

music

is important as a form of therapy in my opinion. The

second

reason is art and culture. In the 21st century, most children or teenagers have been brainwashed by the internet and society. They refuse to practice their religion or

cultures

Fix the agreement mistake

culture

show examples

. Apart from that, children whose parents do not practice their ethnic cultures should have a chance to learn about their religious or traditional songs.

Finally

, the

last

reason is passion and career. Most students want to pursue a career in

music

after they learn how to use instruments or learn about

music

. Children reach their dreams of becoming musicians and

Wrong verb form

doing

show examples

a job that they enjoy. Needless to say, people who play

music

in school plays can inspire many more to join them in the following years. I strongly agree with the idea that

music

is a crucial

part

of a human’s life and a

part

of growing up.

That is

why the youth should be able to learn

music

at a young age to make them realise certain things earlier. I opine that

music

classes should be encouraged for all students who enjoy

music

and would love to inspire many more.

Although

it is costly, it is worth every penny. I hold a firm belief that the youth should always get ahead in life and be thought ideas before they enter their adult stage.

Submitted by sargsyan_armine on Tue Dec 21 2021

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Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

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Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

346 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

fundamental
instilling
discipline
team work
emotional intelligence
stress relief
well-rounded
allocated
STEM subjects
practical
job market
detract
core subjects
enhance
cognitive functions
curriculum
vital
enriching

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Some people believe that teaching music in schools is a vital part of growing up and the human experience, whilst others believe that teaching music in schools is a waste of time and resources.

Fully explain your ideas

You are not ready for IELTS Speaking, if you

Many government think that economic progress is their most important goal. some people, however, think that other types of progress are equally important for a country. Discuss both these views and give your opinion.

Some people believe that children’s leisure activities must be educational, otherwise they are a complete waste of time. Do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your experience.

Nowadays, many people complain that they have difficulties getting enough sleep. What problem can lack of sleep cause? What can be done about lack of sleep ?

In many countries, plastic bags are one the main sources of damage to the environment, and so they should be banned. To what extent do you agree or disagree ?

In the future all cars, buses and trucks will be driverless. The only person traveling inside these vehicles will be passengers.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+