The number of people who are at risk of serious health problems due to being overweight is increasing. What is the reason for the growth in overweight people in society? How can this problem be solved?

#people #risk #health #reason #growth #society

These days,

people

are deeply concerned about health issues, because many problems are related to diseases, including obesity. So that,

this

essay will find out some reasons and give workable solutions to

this

issue.

To begin

with, being overweight is caused by two main reasons related to mental and physical

heath

Correct your spelling

health

show examples

First

of all,

people

are fulfilled their

time

work

with a tight schedule, so they don’t have

time

to prepare their meal at home.

Therefore

, fast foods are consumed

instead

of healthy foods.

Beside

Replace the word

Besides

show examples

, some studies have shown that

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

people

are under

highly

Replace the word

high

show examples

stress pressure caused

difficult

Replace the word

difficulty

show examples

to control their weight. Move over, they don’t spend leisure

time

to do some activity for physical health purpose.

For instance

, with

highly

Change the adverb

high

show examples

frequency at

work

people

have just spent their

time

to relax and entertainment in place of going to the gym. Since

then

, there are some effective solutions to the problem of

overweight

Add a missing verb

being overweight

show examples

First

and foremost, the way to tackle

with

Change preposition

apply

show examples

this

is to make

people

aware of the ill-effects, society should balance lifestyle

Add the comma(s)

,by

show examples

the way, daily

schedule

Fix the agreement mistake

schedules

show examples

are

Change the verb form

show examples

built to balance

time

work

and

time

for daily activity as cooking, relaxing and exercising.

Moreover

government

Add an article

the government

show examples

should have

Change the article

the

show examples

policy to encourage citizens, as sports facilities are built to develop physical fitness.

In addition

, heavy taxation on unhealthy food needs to be developed by

government

Add an article

the government

show examples

. To sum up, being overweight is caused by unhealthy

habit

Fix the agreement mistake

habits

show examples

and

fulfills

Change the spelling

fulfils

show examples

highly pressure at

work

Therefore

, individuals should balance their

Correct your spelling

lifetime

show examples

life

Correct your spelling

lifetime

show examples

time

and follow government policy for the well-being of society.

Submitted by xinh300894 on Wed Dec 22 2021

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

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Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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9Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
18Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

260 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

obesity
sedentary
caloric intake
genetics
nutritional awareness
processed foods
fast food
lifestyle diseases
preventative measures
tax incentives
urban planning
community gardens
wellness initiatives
dietary guidelines
physical fitness
calorie-dense
portion control
metabolic rate
health literacy
food deserts
work-life balance
junk food
BMI (Body Mass Index)
non-communicable diseases
food labeling

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The number of people who are at risk of serious health problems due to being overweight is increasing. What is the reason for the growth in overweight people in society? How can this problem be solved?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Some people say History is one of the most important school subjects. Other people think that, in today's world, subjects like Science and Technology are more important than History. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Today more and more tourists are visiting places where conditions are difficult, such as the Sahara Desert or the Antarctic. What are the benefits and disadvantages for tourists who visit such places?

Many people have lost their job as a result of covid-19 pandemic. What can the government and individuals do to solve d problem.

Nowadays, people make new friends using social media and internet chat groups. Some of them believes that is good. Other people thinks that face-to-face conversation is beneficial. Discuss both sides