IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

In many societies around the world, populations are aging rapidly, leading to unsustainable increase in public health costs. The population of country must pay for health care in the future. Do you agree or disagree with statement?

#societies #world #populations #health #costs #population #country #care #future
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In many
countries
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 across the
globe
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,globe
show examples
 aged
population
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 is growing quickly which leads to unsustainable growth in public
health
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care
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 funds. The people of that country should be responsible for their
health
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care
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 support in the upcoming time.
This
Linking Words
 essay completely agrees with the statement because the shortage of
government
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 funds and medical support staff services leads to
increase
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an increase
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 in public
health
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care
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 costs. The citizens of
country
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the country
a country
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 should
be pay
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be paid
be paying
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 for their
health
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care
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 provider in
upcoming
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the upcoming
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 time because
inadequate
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of inadequate
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government
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fund
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funds
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. In most
countries
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, half of the
population
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 is not paying taxes regularly,
as a result
Linking Words
,
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government run
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government-run
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 out of
fund
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the fund
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 for
health
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care
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systems
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 to run
centralize
Wrong verb form
centralized
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health
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care
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systems
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 for the ageing people.
For instance
Linking Words
, in
sout
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south
aftrica
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Africa
, most
countries
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' people are not paying taxes to
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federal
fedral
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the fedral
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government
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as a result
Linking Words
government
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 fails to provide medication to senior
citizen
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citizens
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. In most
of
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apply
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the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
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countries
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,countries
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 senior citizens
requires
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require
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 constant attention from
medical
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a medical
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 service
provider
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providers
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such
Linking Words
 as nurse and physiotherapist. Each
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government regulated
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government-regulated
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 nursing home
facilities
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facility
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 requires skilled staff and
equipments
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equipment
types of equipment
pieces of equipment
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 which adds
significant
Correct article usage
a significant
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amout
Correct your spelling
amount
 of strain on public
health
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care
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 funds.
For instance
Linking Words
, in the United Kingdom nursing facilities
run
Add a missing verb
are run
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 by the
government
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which
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
puts more pressure on
government
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health
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care
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systems
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 to accommodate each
individuals
Change to a genitive case
individual's
show examples
 daily medical needs. In conclusion, in many
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countries
Add a comma
,countries
show examples
 senior
population
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 is increasing which leads to
increase
Correct article usage
an increase
show examples
 in public
health
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care
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 costs because citizens of the country are not playing their role and
ageing
Correct article usage
the ageing
show examples
population
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 daily needs
puts
Wrong verb form
put
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 additional pressure on
government
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 healthcare
systems
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.
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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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