The increase in the number of privately-owned cars is having a negative impact on both our towns and the environment. What can individuals and the government do to reduce this problem?

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The technology in the mode of transportation has
been
Unnecessary verb
apply
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improved significantly over the past few decades,
this
Linking Words
has made many of us show interest in buying new cars. It is the duty of each person and the ruling party in the nations and cities to take care of
mother earth
Correct your spelling
Mother Earth
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. There are many countries and towns that are
four-wheeler oriented
Add a hyphen
four-wheeler-oriented
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.
For example
Linking Words
, the United States is popular for its
automobile
Fix the agreement mistake
automobiles
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on the road and there
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
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minor public
transports
Fix the agreement mistake
transport
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provided by the state.
This
Linking Words
kind of orientation needs to be changed, so as
bring
Fix the infinitive
to bring
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pollution under control. The ministry should bring about a system which allows their citizens to make use of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
public transport,
as a result
Linking Words
, it would reduce a huge amount of
time
Use synonyms
wasted in traffic,
hence
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
would make the nation a happier place to live for its folk. The recent surveys have shown that the rate of cars bought each year is raised by thirty
percentage
Replace the word
per cent
show examples
. It is not possible for all these cars to be on the road at the same
time
Use synonyms
.
For example
Linking Words
, mornings are the peak traffic hours as many people would travel to their offices and
also
Linking Words
need to drop kids at their schools.
This
Linking Words
kind of transportation mode can be changed if a private bus would pick up and drop all these kids at the school.
In addition
Linking Words
, carpooling can
also
Linking Words
be done by employees who work in the same offices or in nearby areas.
This
Linking Words
would reduce
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
huge amount of
time
Use synonyms
consumed on the road and
also
Linking Words
reduce the air pollution caused by these vehicles. Individuals need to take responsibility for their vehicles and make sure that they are serviced properly. The smoke emitted from these can be highly dangerous if not taken care of at
right
Correct article usage
the right
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time
Use synonyms
. The government should
also
Linking Words
take necessary actions by bringing strict rules
in
Change preposition
into
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the law if anyone forbids it. To summarize, it is the responsibility of both the government and the people to take care of the world and make it a better place for
our
Change the word
the
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next generation by reducing the usage of individual vehicles.
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task response
Your response adequately addresses the task, but could benefit from a clearer focus on the main idea and a more detailed development of solutions.
coherence cohesion
Your essay shows a generally good logical structure, but the introduction and conclusion could be more developed and more effectively link to the main body of the essay.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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