IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5

Nowadays, many people have access to computers and a large number of children enjoy playing video games. What are the advantages and disadvantages of playing video games for children

#people #access #computers #children #video #games
Nowadays people have access to computers and a large number of children enjoy playing video
games
 . We Live in the modern era, Computers are made our life easier, our heir nowadays plays televised
games
Although
 technology has made much of the work smooth on equally we have advantages. and disadvantage it owns. children love playing televised
games
however
 still it has drawbacks. We are surrounded by technology. now hereby subsisting we all have a stressful life. perhaps
this
 is the main reason why parents are providing play station to kids as they no need of taking outdoor activities after long working hours. There are a few video
games
such
 as Sudoku which helps in brainstorming. Parents should arrange small group tournaments to play
games
 in multiplayer. Multiple ones
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
 very popular in Canada. irrespective of its advantages it has drawbacks
also
 one main and most important one is they get involved and get addicted to televised
games
 that impact on the studies they lose the focus on studies.on the other the hand physical fitness is equally important to academics
for example
 if our children are not focused on outdoor activities that will impact on their fitness that leads to obesity, parents should balance all the tasks of their child. is advancing it is making our life easy
on the other hand
 setbacks. be swept under carpet it cannot from it
Submitted by radha.ggotagi on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: