Nowadays, marketers have left no stone unturned to entice customers. Certain fast food companies and restaurants now tie up with schools to endorse their products. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

#marketers #stone #customers #food #companies #restaurants #tie #schools #products #development

In contemporary times, Most

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

food

chain restaurants have invested a huge chunk of their overall budget into marketing.

Addition

Add a comma

,Addition

show examples

they have intercepted school canteen business, In an attempt to make young kids addicted to junk

food

. In

this

essay, I would like to expand on my view, how

this

can lead to

health

ramifications at an early age, and why there should be a complete ban on

such

food

giants entering

schools

. Fast

Food

Chain Leaders

such

as McDonald's have always tried to make children addicted to their

food

. They have successfully achieved

this

by launching gimmicks

such

as happy meals, ,

Moreover

Add a comma

,Moreover

show examples

they lure kids by giving them a toy along with a happy meal, unaware consuming

such

junk

food

will have long term effect on their

health

Schools

are paid hefty money to open stalls on their premises, Greed takes over a child's

health

, And

such

malpractices are allowed,

Change the punctuation

apply

show examples

Furthermore

Add a comma

,Furthermore

show examples

special student discounts are given, so everyone can afford it.For ,example every Diwali st xaviers high school allow brands like burger king

Fix the infinitive

show examples

open their stall for a week. One always tends to forget about the

health

hazards of

such

food

. It has been proven, that the major reason behind obesity among adolescents is the consumption of fast

food

Therefore

Strict action must be taken against

schools

promoting

such

products.

For example

, The Government of India have started a midday meals program, Where nutritious

food

is provided to

schools

, and there is a complete ban on the sales of junk

food

schools

. In Conclusion, the Greed of

food

co-operate world is destroying the

health

of our young

generationhealth

Correct your spelling

generation health

generation healthy

, and

therefore

there should be strict action taken against culprits found selling their products at an educational centre.

Submitted by surajgadhvi92 on Thu Dec 23 2021

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for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

288 words

5.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Nowadays, marketers have left no stone unturned to entice customers. Certain fast food companies and restaurants now tie up with schools to endorse their products. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Many people strive to maintain a successful career and happy family life at the same time.What problems can this situation create?What are the possible solutions?

In some countries an increasing number of people are suffering from health problems as a results od eating too much fast food. It is therefore necessary for government to impose a higher tax on this kind of food

Nowadays many people complain that they have difficulties having enough sleep what are problems caused by lack of sleep? what can be done about this lack of sleep?

Some people think that schools should stop teaching students by using books, because students find them boring and that children can learn from films, TV, video games and computer instead. To what extent do you agree?