Some countries have introduced a law to eliminate working hours for employees. Why is this law introduced? Do you think it is a negative or positive development?
Law regulations and policies linked with
time
spent at work
in Several nations has
Change the verb form
have
undergo
some changes. Evidence Change the verb form
undergone
show
for many having long working Change the verb form
shows
hours
can be a pressure as long as less amount of time
is spent in working places, workers
and employees are usually more productive and there is a global shift toward shortening working hours
.
To
the fast pace of life working Change preposition
Due to
hours
are prolonged and frustration at work
happen
Correct subject-verb agreement
happens
as a result
of being set to work
. Some companies and firms expect their workers
to accomplish tasks in a forced time
or even they are given them
duties or being asked to represent a project within Correct pronoun usage
apply
thin
deadline. In Correct article usage
a thin
such
a situation many people at work
complain about being asked to work
intensively and they experience many problems associated with health issues. An experiment shows that working 50 hours
per week and above can hazard human health and more number of
people Correct quantifier usage
apply
were
at Wrong verb form
are
the
risk of heart disease compared to those who Correct article usage
apply
were
staying less Wrong verb form
are
time
at work
. To alleviate the consequences of this
problem new rules had
been set for working Wrong verb form
have
hours
that
job-holders feel less tired and exhausted and Correct word choice
so that
with
relatively Change preposition
apply
being
less endangered.
For Unnecessary verb
apply
many
there is a blurring boundaries between home and Add a comma
many,
work
. The reduction of time
spent at work
can help them spent
more Wrong verb form
spend
time
with family members and that can increase job satisfaction for many. Further
Rephrase
Furthermore
more
Correct quantifier usage
apply
workers
feel much happier when they can spend more time
with
tasks that they tend to put energy Change preposition
on
for
Change preposition
apply
it
and afterwards Correct pronoun usage
apply
feeling
deeply happy which leads to improvement in productivity.
In general, when Wrong verb form
feel
workers
spend more time
for themselves they always feel rejuvenated and feel less tired and stressed, they can also
create work
-life balance ever and then
they can boost the conditions at work
.Submitted by mary.zadegan on
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task response
Your essay addresses the task but lacks a clear position on whether the elimination of working hours is a negative or positive development. Try to clearly present your opinion in the introduction and conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
The essay has a logical structure with a clear introduction and conclusion. However, some points are not well connected, and the progression of ideas could be smoother.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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