IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5

Some people think that formal education should strert for children as early as possible. While others think that it should no start until 7 years of ages. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #education #strert #children #start #years #ages
It is considered by some that
children
 suppose to go to
school
 from early
age
 while there are others who believe that kids shouldn't study in
school
 unless they reach at least 7
years
 old. I take the view that 5
years
 old is an
aporprate
Correct your spelling
appropriate
age
to begin
strudying
Correct your spelling
studying
 in
school
. On the one hand, the early
years
 of the
child
 life are the most important
years
 in deforming his mentality, and having good education at
this
 stage
garantee
Correct your spelling
guarantee
 somehow good inputs in the
child
believe
Replace the word
belief
show examples
 system.
This
 is why some people think that it is
improtant
Correct your spelling
important
 for
children
 to start their educational
jurny
Correct your spelling
journey
jury
 at a small
age
.
On the other hand
, young people are not able to take care of themselves, and going to
school
 might
heart
Correct your spelling
hurt
show examples
 them.
In other words
, a three-
years
-
age
child
need
Change the verb form
needs
show examples
 a
contionus
Correct your spelling
continuous
continues
superviser
Correct your spelling
supervisor
Add the particle
to form
show examples
form
Correct your spelling
from
show examples
a
Change the article
an
show examples
 older person, and, in
schools
Add a comma
,schools
show examples
threre
Correct your spelling
there
 is no
garanteer
Correct your spelling
guarantee
 that each
child
 will have
this
attintion
Correct your spelling
attention
since
Correct your spelling
sense
show examples
 that there would be at least 10
childern
Correct your spelling
children
at
Change preposition
in
show examples
 each class.
Thus
, many parents think that the
actuall
Correct your spelling
actual
 education
jurny
Correct your spelling
journey
jury
 suppose to start after 7
years
 old of the
child
 life. In my perspective,
youn
Correct your spelling
young
you
 people who are 5
years
 old can manage their things
wiht
Correct your spelling
with
 small help from someone else.
Therefore
, they are able to some degree to go to
school
.
Furthermore
, I think that studying at
small
Add an article
a small
show examples
age
 is
helpfull
Correct your spelling
helpful
 since it
insures
Correct your spelling
ensures
show examples
 that
children
-believe-system will build on a true foundation. In conclusion,
poeple
Correct your spelling
people
divided
Add a missing verb
are divided
show examples
to
Change preposition
into
show examples
 two teams when it comes to the start point of the
learnig
Correct your spelling
learning
 process. Some of them said that the smaller the
children
 are,the best they go to
school
, whereas the others said that the
precess
Correct your spelling
process
show examples
 shouldn't start before the
children
 reach a certain
age
.
Moreover
, 5 five
years
 old is a suitable
age
 because at
this
age
children
 can take of themselves, and they will have a good initial
infomation
Correct your spelling
information
 for their mind-deforming process.
Submitted by munirah1056a2 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: