Today, many people do not have time to spend with their families in large cities. What problems does this cause? What can be done about this?

Nowadays, most people in
this
modern world have less talk and
time
with their family
members
.
This
is happened
Wrong verb form
happens
show examples
due to
the busy life of individuals which
caused
Add a missing verb
is caused
show examples
by
economic
Correct article usage
the economic
show examples
problems they tackle
with
Change preposition
apply
show examples
.
This
essay cites a few causes and provides some solutions to alleviate
this
issue. The main reason for
this
problem that many
parents
have less communication and
time
for their
children
is their busy lives. These days, adults should work hard in order to provide
well-fare
Correct your spelling
welfare
show examples
for their families.
For example
,
a
Change preposition
in a
show examples
nuclear family, both father and mother might have a nine-to-five job in order to gain high revenue. On the one hand, there are always traffic jams in metropolitans, particularly in rush hours. So,
parents
are stuck on roads and spend
almost
Correct your spelling
most
show examples
of their entire day for commuting.
As a result
, they have no
time
to communicate and do
activity
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activities
show examples
with their
children
on weekdays, and at the weekend they want to spend their
time
to rest
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resting
show examples
more than
do
Wrong verb form
doing
show examples
any activity with their kids at home or outside.
However
, there are some solutions to make free hours to talk and play with their
children
.
Firstly
, using modern technology
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
might be the better way to spend more
time
remotely among
family’s
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family
show examples
members
.
Parents
could manage some
their
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of their
show examples
free
time
during work
time
to call and talk with their families.
For instance
, they could spend their lunch
time
calling
to
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apply
show examples
their kids in order to keep in touch with family and update their lives to each other.
In addition
,
instead
of spending all day
in
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at
show examples
weekend
Add an article
the weekend
show examples
to rest
Change the verb form
resting
show examples
,
parents
should take their kids outside
for doing
Change preposition
to do
show examples
some activities together and strike up
family’s
Change noun form
family
show examples
relationship
Fix the agreement mistake
relationships
show examples
such
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as picnic
show examples
picnic
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picnics
show examples
. In
this
way,
children
and their
parents
could spend
their
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
quality
time
with each other. In conclusion,
economic
Correct article usage
the economic
show examples
situation and bustling lives
are
Verb problem
have
show examples
caused families to have less
time
to spend with
members
. But there are some suggested ways to rectify it,
such
as using modern technology to talk with family
members
or spending
time
with
children
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
weekend
Fix the agreement mistake
weekends
show examples
more than resting to strike up family
relationship
Fix the agreement mistake
relationships
show examples
.
Submitted by s.nattakan2018 on

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coherence cohesion
Improve the logical structure of your essay by using clearer topic sentences and organizing your ideas more coherently.
task achievement
Provide a more comprehensive response to the essay prompt by discussing a wider range of problems and solutions related to lack of family time in large cities.

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