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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Many businesses choose to recruit from within their own country rather than sourcing staff from overseas. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?

#businesses #country #staff #outweigh
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Due to
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 globalization, exchanging resources between countries is possible,
likewise
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, human
resource
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resources
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 is
also
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 one of the popular trades.
However
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, many companies prefer sourcing from their native population more than from abroad.
Therefore
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, there is an argument
whether
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about whether
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 the benefits outweigh the disadvantages which will be discussed in the following essay. First of all, it is undeniable that native workers have the potential to easily adapt to the organization's culture and environment. Naturally, human is certainly social animal that tends to cooperate with those from the same background rather than outsiders.
For instance
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, businesses like CP or Central, avoid hiring foreigners because of unnecessary costs, documents and processes required. So, it is not surprising that several organizations choose to recruit from within their own countries.
On the other hand
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, several businesses select overseas recruitment as their alternative manpower.
For example
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, NHS with almost 60% of employees
in
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is
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 an international health care provider.
Due to
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 the severe lack of
health care
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healthcare
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 workers in their own countries, only hiring the natives may not reach the demand for the rising number of patients nowadays.
Furthermore
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, on-site jobs are difficult to manage these days since the COVID-19 pandemic,
instead
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, it is expected that remote jobs are the uprising trend in which employees
would
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will
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 be able to complete tasks from different places across the globe without coming to offices. It is considered to be cost-saving and safe for staff. In conclusion, the statement has good points from easy adaptation to fewer processes
while
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 there are some drawbacks including limited available options and the pandemic restriction policies. Evidently,
this
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 essay believes that the disadvantages outweigh the advantages.
As a result
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, the international staff is recommended.
Submitted by petchlada.yaovapak on

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task response
Ensure that the introduction and conclusion clearly summarize the main points and provide a holistic overview of the essay. Limit the use of incomplete or unclear ideas that do not fully address the prompt.
coherence and cohesion
Improve the flow of ideas by better organizing the content. Use appropriate transition words and phrases to connect the sentences and paragraphs more effectively. Additionally, provide a clear thesis statement and ensure that all body paragraphs support the main argument.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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