IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4.5

Many people believe that zoos have no purpose in today’s world and should be closed. What problems do zoos bring? What are the alternatives to zoos if they are closed?

#people #zoos #purpose #today’s #world #alternatives
Nowadays the world is more conscious about
animals
´ rights and wellbeing, believing that
zoos
 have no purpose in today´s reality. It is often affirmed that zoological gardens are meaningless to our society and it has been questioned whether they provide benefits to humanity and animal life or should be closed. Some people view
this
Correct determiner usage
these
show examples
 places as cruel prisons. Why is that? Wild
animals
 are not meant to live in cages or in small places. They need to be in
Add an article
the there
a there
show examples
there
Replace the word
their
show examples
 natural environment to be happy and live the wildlife they are supposed to. The purpose of
zoos
 is to show the wild
animals
 to people in the cities and at the same time protect the species. But are they actually being protected? Or just removed from their habitats for Human profit?
Firstly
, one of the problems
that’s
Change the verb form
that are
show examples
zoos
 bring is the quality
life
Change preposition
of life
show examples
 of the
animals
, which is less than the quality of life they would have in their natural habitat.
In addition
 to
this
,
animals
 stop using their natural hunting instincts and become almost domesticated. In terms of alternatives, there are a few options that we have. Wildlife parks are becoming more popular in today’s world. These provide more space for
animals
 to wander around and they provide a habitat
which
Correct pronoun usage
that
show examples
 is more similar to
animals
’ natural homes. It should be noted that there are many wonderful organizations around the world that have set up sanctuaries for rescued farm
animals
. These sanctuaries offer an engaging, interactive experience and most allow you to get right up close to the
animals
, which kids of all ages will be sure to love. Some sanctuaries
also
 have accommodations located right on their properties so you can take the kids and make it a memorable, educational time away. As we can see,
zoos
 are not the only way for humans to see and learn about wild
animals
. If there were no
zoos
, it would still be possible for scientists and ordinary people to preserve and experience nature.
Submitted by beatriz.ccottinellimc40 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • ethical and animal welfare
  • artificial habitats
  • psychological distress
  • abnormal behaviors
  • conservation
  • inbreading
  • wildlife sanctuaries
  • rehabilitation centers
  • naturalistic habitats
  • virtual and augmented reality
  • ecotourism
  • wildlife documentaries
  • educational platforms
  • genetic pool
  • immersive experiences
  • conservation education
What to do next:
Look at other essays: