Many manufactured food and drink products contain high levels of sugar, which causes many health problems. Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar. Do you agree or disagree?

There are so many food companies
which
Correct pronoun usage
that
show examples
produce food and drink
products
contain
Correct pronoun usage
that contain
show examples
high levels of
sugar
that can be one of the gravest reasons
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
health problems.It is argued that the prices of sugary
products
should be increased to prevent
people
from using a large amount of
sugar
.From my perspective,
sugar
has
dramatic
Add an article
a dramatic
show examples
impact on
people
’s
body
Fix the agreement mistake
bodies
show examples
,
however
,I do not agree with the idea that going up in the cost of
sugar
production will be a solution to
this
tendency. On the one hand,the excessive use of
sugar
can cause rigorous issues
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
the working process of our body ,which can lead to extremely dangerous illnesses
such
as
:
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
obesity,heart ailment and some other
chronical
Correct your spelling
chronic
diseases.Today approximately 12% of
world
Add an article
the world
show examples
population suffer from
this
illness,the main reason
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
that issue is that
people
are addicted
fast
Change preposition
to fast
show examples
and junk food
which
Correct pronoun usage
that
show examples
contains too much
sugar
. Experts point to that If
people
will continue
such
a high amount of
sugar
,it will
also
also
Remove the redundancy
apply
show examples
can affect the genes of humans that can contribute
shortages
Change preposition
to shortages
show examples
in the physical development of future
generation
Fix the agreement mistake
generations
show examples
.
On the other hand
,I do not promote the increases
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
cost
Add an article
the cost
show examples
of
sugar
,since it may not change anything in human’s eating ways.
As a result
of
such
kind of rises only
vulnerables
Correct your spelling
vulnerable
will be affected,
in
contrast
Add a comma
,contrast
show examples
the rich will continue to buy
such
kind of harmful
products
. In conclusion,from my point of view,to prevent
further
dangers ,
people
should cease using
such
amount
Fix the agreement mistake
amounts
show examples
of
sugar
,
however
Add a comma
,however
show examples
the solution
of
Change preposition
to
show examples
that problem will not be increasing the prices of
sugar
products
.
Submitted by parvanaasgarova1 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • health problems
  • manufactured food and drink products
  • sugary products
  • excessive sugar consumption
  • discourage
  • promote
  • healthier choices
  • reduce
  • increased taxes
  • fund
  • health education
  • prevention programs
What to do next:
Look at other essays: