Some people say music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and ages together. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

It is argued that some group of individuals believe that songs and
music
is a great platform to bring cultures and people together.
This
essay strongly
agree
Change the verb form
agrees
show examples
with
this
statement because it reduces
cultural
Correct article usage
the cultural
show examples
gap across the globe and
share
Change the verb form
shares
show examples
common theme and ideas among all generations.
To begin
with, it has been evident
from
Change preposition
for
show examples
years that
music
brings
significant
Add an article
a significant
show examples
change in people's mood and behaviour. It relaxes minds and elevates their productivity. Because of advanced technology,
music
from other nations is easily accessible to all groups of people and now
this
Change the determiner
this music lover
these music lovers
show examples
music
lovers are exposed to different variety of tones and lyrics.
This
plays a vital role in bringing different cultures into one single platform.
Submitted by ba.farheenfatima on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • universal language
  • evoke
  • connect
  • diverse audiences
  • cultural exchange
  • generational gaps
  • shared experiences
  • unifying force
What to do next:
Look at other essays: