In many countries, the proportion of older people is steadily increasing. Does this trend have more positive or negative effects on the society?

#countries #proportion #people #trend #effects #society

With the advancement of technology,

death

Add an article

the death

show examples

rate is decreasing and more

people

are staying healthy even in older age

hence

increased

Wrong verb form

increasing

show examples

old

people

in society. Some believe that it has

positive

Correct article usage

a positive

show examples

impact while others are saying

opposite

Correct article usage

the opposite

show examples

to it. In

this

essay, I will discuss both

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

views and explain why it has more advantages than

disadvatages

Correct your spelling

disadvantages

First

Add an article

The first

A first

show examples

major benefit of having

the

Correct article usage

show examples

older person at

home

is the responsibility. While youngsters are out for their work, grandparents at

home

would be able to look after the children.

Working

Correct article usage

The working

show examples

generation can work without bothering about their kids and their activity classes.

For example

, nowadays kids have to attend multiple classes like

zumba

Change the capitalization

Zumba

show examples

, swimming other than school. Grandparents can help them with pick-up and drop-off

facility

Fix the agreement mistake

facilities

show examples

in the absence of their parents. Another reason is that they provide

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

security at

home

and

this

keeps robbers away by knowing that someone is at

home

Hence

presence

Add an article

the presence

show examples

of aged

people

provide

Change the verb form

provides

show examples

a great benefit to

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

society.

On the other hand

, elder

people

are putting pressure

for

Change preposition

show examples

their elderly care

specially

Replace the word

especially

show examples

when they fall sick and their son or daughter is working overseas.

For example

father

Correct article usage

the father

show examples

of my best friend is living alone in his house because his son is working abroad.

Although

he is sending sufficient funds for his survival

but

Remove the conjunction

apply

show examples

need

Change the verb form

needs

show examples

to hire a nurse which is not easily available

everytime

Replace the word

every time

show examples

Rising

Add an article

The rising

A rising

show examples

population of

this

generation is

also

resulting

into

Change preposition

show examples

less

Correct quantifier usage

fewer

show examples

working

people

and

Correct article usage

a more

show examples

retired generation. Because employers have openings for

fresh

Add an article

the fresh

show examples

mind

Fix the agreement mistake

minds

show examples

rather than old

people

. In conclusion,

Although

there are some negative points of having

growing

Add an article

a growing

show examples

population of old

people

eldery

Correct your spelling

elderly

elder

care and less number of

working

Add an article

the working

show examples

population. Having grandparents at

home

help in many ways like child care and

home

safety.

Therefore

advantages outweigh

than

Change preposition

apply

show examples

the disadvantages of aged

people

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

society.

Submitted by davinderkaur3190 on Wed Dec 29 2021

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Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
32Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

309 words

5.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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In many countries, the proportion of older people is steadily increasing. Does this trend have more positive or negative effects on the society?

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

With the rise of e books comes the decline in paper books. Some people see this as a good step forward while others do not. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this trend?

Some believe that students should begin learning a language very early in school while others think these subjects should be taught later. Discuss both sides and give your own opinion.

The computers are widely used in education and some people think that teachers do not play an important role in the classroom. To what extent do you agree

The best way to solve the world’s environment problem is to increase the price of fuel. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people say that it is possible for a country to be both economically successful and have a clean environment. Others disagree. Discuss both view and give your opinion.