IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7.5

Some people think students should study the science of food and how to prepare it. Others think that school time should be used in learning important subjects. Discuss both views and give your opinion

#people #students #study #science #food #school #time #subjects
It is proposed that
food
science
 and cookery should be included in schools’ curriculum, while others argue that students should concentrate on other relevant subjects. From my point of view,
although
 these two subjects are crucial for life, they should not be added to high schools’ courses. Learning about nourishment in middle childhood is enough. On the one hand, it is necessary to teach children
food
science
 and how to cook.
This
 is because knowing about nutrition and what are they eating can develop health awareness,
as a result
, the number of young people with obesity and malnutrition decreases.
Additionally
, cooking skill is one of the important skills to survive.
For example
, when teenagers move to live apart from their families, they should be able to cook a nutritious meal for themselves.
On the other hand
, other courses
in particular
 mathematics, physics, biology and foreign languages are far more essential for their future careers. Most learners aim at continuing the higher level of education in universities or vocational schools,
therefore
food
science
 and cookery are irrelevant to them.
This
 is evident when a student who wants to become an architect probably does not need to know about these subjects for his or her future career.
Hence
 spending
time
 on
food
science
 and how to cook to a significant extent deviates students from their goals for higher education. From my perspective, a middle-aged child should learn these courses to gain more understanding about their meals.
Nevertheless
, older students should have more
time
 to focus on their future. In conclusion, it is true that the
science
 of cooking is a necessity.
However
, I believe that it is a waste of
time
 if it is taught at an inappropriate
time
.
Submitted by Rain on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: