IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

The range of technology available to people is increasing the gap between the rich and the poor. Others think it has an opposite effect. Discuss both views and give your opinions.

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In
this
Linking Words
 21st century , modern
technology
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 has lept the way into every sphere of human life where some
people
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 reckon that
,
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apply
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 the range of
technology
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 available to
people
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is rise
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is rising
is risen
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 the gap between the wealthy and poor persons but others think that it has
reverse
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a reverse
the reverse
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 effect which I will
disscuss
Correct your spelling
discuss
 in my upcoming paragraphs. To address with, poor persons get
education
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 easily with the development of
technology
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 because the internet provides a plethora of
education
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 websites and applications in
thefree
Correct your spelling
the free
 of cost where poor students can easily get more knowledge about the particular field of
education
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for instance
Linking Words
 , according to
recent
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a recent
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 survey,
nowdays
Correct the word
nowadays
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,
mosty
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most
mostly
people
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 use
internet
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the internet
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 just to know about their
education
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 in the free of cost
secondly
Linking Words
, after the invention of mobile
Phones
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phones
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 and computers rural areas are becoming part of the global
Village
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village
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 and they can communicate all over the world with the advancement of
technology
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as a result
Linking Words
 , it is very beneficial for
people
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 life.
Linking Words
However
Add a comma
,However
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 on the other side , some
people
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 think that
,
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apply
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 rich have more beneficial to have modern science
firstly
Linking Words
, wealthy
people
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's have gotten the most effective treatments of disease with the help of modern types of
machinary
Correct your spelling
machinery
 there are many diseases like
,
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apply
show examples
cancer, heart transplants and many more which are very expensive to treat by advanced medical
machineries
Change the wording
machinery
types of machinery
pieces of machinery
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 it can only afford for wealthy
people
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inspite
Correct your spelling
in spite
 of
this
Linking Words
, more luxurious goods produced by different companies because rich persons have more choices of buying those items. I believe that
,
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apply
show examples
 modern science improved the lifestyles of both the personalities in my opinion recent
technology
Use synonyms
 has increased the gap between rich and poor.

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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