Recent research has shown that business meetings and training are increasingly taking place online. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this?

Nowadays,
people
can use the
internet
Capitalize word
Internet
show examples
in every place,
as
Correct word choice
and as
show examples
a result,individuals
work
via the internet.Most of the companies arrange their meetings online.It has some benefits and drawbacks.
While working
Correct word choice
Working
show examples
online decreases
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
transportation problems and employers spend less for their offices but it causes some health issues. Many
people
prefer to be employed through the
internet
Capitalize word
Internet
show examples
because meanwhile,they can eat or do some chores at
home
.In
china
Capitalize word
China
show examples
women who do online
work
do not need to send their small children to kindergarten
consequently
,they
saved
Wrong verb form
save
show examples
some money per month.
Moreover
,company owners do not need
Add an article
a
show examples
spacious place because many of their
employees
are not at the office.
The vehicles
Correct article usage
Vehicles
show examples
congestion will be reduced in cities
which
Correct word choice
where
show examples
their workers and
students
do online
working
Wrong verb form
work
show examples
and training ,
therefore
,air pollution diminished there.
On the other hand
,
people
who
work
at
home
usually eat more snacks and food which
lead
Correct subject-verb agreement
leads
show examples
to increasing their weight as we know obesity has lots of health disadvantages
such
as heart
diseases
Fix the agreement mistake
disease
show examples
and diabetes.Experts researched the rate of obesity in
employees
who are at
home
compared to the workplace ,unfortunately,that illustrated some physical problems which
raised
Verb problem
arise
show examples
in
employees
who
work
at
home
.
Additionally
,communication between individuals declined and most of them only see each other at the computer screen which prevents appropriate bonding between colleagues
that
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
will down
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
job satisfaction.
Although
all of these negative effects can happen for
students
and teachers who
work
online. In conclusion, doing jobs and studying are more comfortable on the computer but
people
face some difficulties.
citizens
Capitalize word
Citizens
show examples
who occupy or train online should be aware of the detrimental impact which online
work
has and manufacturers owners have a duty to help
employees
do some exercise
while
working.The
ministry
Capitalize word
Ministry
show examples
of
education
Capitalize word
Education
show examples
should set up some places for
students
to be familiar with their teachers and other
students
.
Submitted by rezakiannejad on

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task response
The essay addresses the advantages and disadvantages of online work and training, providing examples to support the points made. However, some points could be further elaborated to strengthen the argument.
coherence and cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion that briefly summarize the main points. However, there could be a stronger link between paragraphs to improve the overall cohesion of the essay.

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