Recent research has shown that business meetings and training are increasingly taking place online. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this?
Nowadays, spacious place because many of their
people
can use the internet
in every place,Capitalize word
Internet
as
a result,individuals Correct word choice
and as
work
via the internet.Most of the companies arrange their meetings online.It has some benefits and drawbacks.While working
online decreases Correct word choice
Working
the
transportation problems and employers spend less for their offices but it causes some health issues.
Many Correct article usage
apply
people
prefer to be employed through the internet
because meanwhile,they can eat or do some chores at Capitalize word
Internet
home
.In china
women who do online Capitalize word
China
work
do not need to send their small children to kindergarten consequently
,they saved
some money per month.Wrong verb form
save
Moreover
,company owners do not needAdd an article
a
employees
are not at the office.The vehicles
congestion will be reduced in cities Correct article usage
Vehicles
which
their workers and Correct word choice
where
students
do online working
and training ,Wrong verb form
work
therefore
,air pollution diminished there.
On the other hand
,people
who work
at home
usually eat more snacks and food which lead
to increasing their weight as we know obesity has lots of health disadvantages Correct subject-verb agreement
leads
such
as heart diseases
and diabetes.Experts researched the rate of obesity in Fix the agreement mistake
disease
employees
who are at home
compared to the workplace ,unfortunately,that illustrated some physical problems which raised
in Verb problem
arise
employees
who work
at home
.Additionally
,communication between individuals declined and most of them only see each other at the computer screen which prevents appropriate bonding between colleagues that
will down Correct pronoun usage
apply
the
job satisfaction.Correct article usage
apply
Although
all of these negative effects can happen for students
and teachers who work
online.
In conclusion, doing jobs and studying are more comfortable on the computer but people
face some difficulties.citizens
who occupy or train online should be aware of the detrimental impact which online Capitalize word
Citizens
work
has and manufacturers owners have a duty to help employees
do some exercise while
working.The ministry
of Capitalize word
Ministry
education
should set up some places for Capitalize word
Education
students
to be familiar with their teachers and other students
.Submitted by rezakiannejad on
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task response
The essay addresses the advantages and disadvantages of online work and training, providing examples to support the points made. However, some points could be further elaborated to strengthen the argument.
coherence and cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion that briefly summarize the main points. However, there could be a stronger link between paragraphs to improve the overall cohesion of the essay.
Your opinion
Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.
If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.
Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:
...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?
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