Some people say that the best way to improve public health is by increasing the number of sports facilities. Others, however, say that this would have little effect on public health and that other measures are required.

Some
people
say that the best way to improve public
health
is by increasing the number of
sports
facilities
. Others
however
say that
this
would have little effect on
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
public
health
and that other measures are required. There
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
number
Change the article
a number
the number
show examples
of ways to improve public
health
, one measure can be to improve and increase
sports
facilities
in the area. I believe that public
health
can be improved to a certain level by increasing
sports
facilities
like opening swimming pool, cricket, tennis, football grounds in an area. The opening of
such
sports
clubs or grounds will not only provide new and improved
sports
facilities
to
sports
enthusiasts but
also
to the public who wants to learn
a new sport
Correct the article-noun agreement
new sport sports
a new sport sport
show examples
sports
. The general public will definitely be benefited from improved
sports
facilities
but
this
measure is not the only way. One should focus on other measures which can promote healthy living. There are other initiatives
such
as opening a park, construction of running tracks, gyms,
yoga
places etc. The
community
must contribute and collaborate with the
people
of different societies to work on
such
initiatives to promote a healthy lifestyle. For an instance, the opening of a park to the public will encourage
people
of all age groups to visit and engage in different activities like running, performing
yoga
etc. that in turn improve the
health
of the
people
. Organizing different
yoga
sessions benefit
people
in a variety of different ways. Performing
yoga
every day improves flexibility, reduces stress and keeps the body and mind calm. Apart from
this
,
people
should
also
focus on healthy eating habits. A number of
community
health
promotion programs, which enable
people
to follow a healthy lifestyle. These programs offer an opportunity to empower the
community
to enable all citizens to have access to
health
care
facilities
. Enhancing the quality of healthcare centres in the region can contribute immensely to
promote
Wrong verb form
promoting
show examples
the
health
of the public. To conclude, I feel that
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
public
health
can be improved by combined initiatives of improving
sports
facilities
as well as
as
Remove the redundancy
apply
show examples
promoting
community
health
promotion programs.
Submitted by abhisheksingla91 on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • public health
  • sports facilities
  • physical activity
  • exercise
  • chronic diseases
  • heart disease
  • obesity
  • inclusivity
  • participation
  • safe environment
  • social interaction
  • community engagement
  • comprehensive approach
  • health education programs
  • environmental factors
  • healthcare infrastructure
  • quality healthcare services
  • public health initiatives
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