With divorce rates and family breakdowns increasing globally, it is generally accepted that families today are not as close as they used to be. Discuss the causes of this problem and offer some possible solutions to it.

Divorce rates are rising all over the world and membership between families tends to be diluted. I will show two possible reasons in
this
essay, and present solutions to them.
First
, these days, many people are more likely to choose
living
Change the verb form
to live
show examples
alone in a big city, because
jobs
in a rural area are decreasing and they go to an urban region for seeking their works.
Therefore
, the number of family members will become two, husband and wife, after their children
being
Wrong verb form
are
show examples
independent.
This
is the one reason for diluting
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
a family membership.
Second
, in modern society, the
amount
Change the quantifier
number
show examples
of works are increasing because of the development of technologies.
However
, the ability of individuals do not change easily, and it is difficult for ordinary people to deal with their
jobs
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
the same time as before.
Thus
, people tend to select overtime work.
This
trend leads to less conversation within the family, and after all, many families might choose a divorce. In order to solve the former problem, the government and the municipal should make subsidies for local residents
Correct your spelling
easily
easiliy
Change preposition
to easiliy
show examples
getting
Wrong verb form
get
show examples
jobs
in their hometown.
On the other hand
, the essential stakeholder for solving the
second
issue might be a private company. If each private sector encourages their employee to take a paid holiday for interacting with their family, communication between family members must be more frequent. In conclusion, there are two possible causes for rising divorce rates and diluting relationships within family members; choosing a nuclear family because of the lack of
jobs
in a rural area and less interaction due to overtime working. It is needed for both the government and the private sector to prevent these problems.
Submitted by hayamiosaki on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: