IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4

today the high sales of popular goods reflect the power of advertising and not the real needs of the society in which they are sold. to what extent do you agree or disagree?

#sales #goods #power #society
It is believed that plentiful sales of popular
goods
 benefit the power of advertising even if they don't meet the real needs of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society.To my way of thinking
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 can easily support
this
 concept with some examples from the
reality
Add a comma
,reality
show examples
 we live in. In
this
 modern era, ads are taking over everywhere, even though we do not pay attention to
it
Correct pronoun usage
them
show examples
. Because we see them on billboards, on the telephone while we scroll, on the radio while we drive, they are reflecting
our
Change the pronoun
the
show examples
 subconscious mind
Correct your spelling
and
show examples
nad
Correct your spelling
and
show examples
that is
 giving them the power over us.
Furthermore
, I have seen so many
goods
 gaining popularity on
tiktok
Correct your spelling
TikTok
 for a number of hours just some videos until every person using
tiktok
Correct your spelling
TikTok
 buys it.Once it's on the app or on some billboard or wherever you want to think it is, it's popular and advertising companies are receiving high profits from it.
In addition
, let's take a look at how frequently people buy products they do not need due to the fact that are gaining popularity. There are people purchasing toilet covers, headlights lashes or even in my country they buy decorative car horns and ride like they are Rudolf. But if they thought about the homeless people and those who are in need while buying all those unnecessary
goods
, sales will drop. But when a person is wealthy enough , he can do whatever he desires while he can. Society is blinded by trendy
goods
 and does not rethink the fact that they
dont
Correct your spelling
don't
 need some product or that they can even jeopardize themselves while purchasing them. I advise my friend and family good to think before rushing to buy
thins
Correct your spelling
things
show examples
 from the internet
esspecialy
Correct your spelling
especially
.
Submitted by evadil on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: