Some people believe that it is essential to include Physical Education classes in the curriculum for all school-aged children. Others think that children's time is better spent on more academic subjects. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#people #education #classes #curriculum #children #time #subjects

It is known that nowadays kids spend too much time

Change preposition

apply

show examples

playing computer games or

beeing

Correct your spelling

being

occupied with their mobile phones than twenty years ago. There are different opinions, which result in a discussion whether there should be more Physical Education classes

instead

of more academic

subjects

. On the one hand, youngsters spend a great deal of their spare time

with

Change preposition

apply

show examples

playing digital games or

Change preposition

apply

show examples

chatting

Change preposition

show examples

varoius

Correct your spelling

various

social media.

As a result

this

leads to a sedentary lifestyle. The consequences are obesity with all

further

damage on the health of the population, which will result in immense costs for the health system.

Furthermore

lot

Correct article usage

a lot

show examples

of scientists have concluded that the fact of practising exercises actually improves academic performance.

Therefore

, there is a need to include Physical Education classes in the curriculum.

On the other hand

, our

society

lacks

Remove the preposition

apply

show examples

well-educated labour in the sectors of Science, Technology, Engineering and Mathematics.

Moreover

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

society

is becoming more competitive. Not only good grades but

also

entrance

Add an article

the entrance

an entrance

show examples

to higher education is needed to find highly paid jobs afterwards.

Thus

, for most

parents

Add a comma

,parents

show examples

it seems to be important that educational bodies offer a wide range of academic

subjects

. Others even argue that it is up to parents to make sure their children participate enough in sport in their free time. In conclusion, it is undeniable that studying core

subjects

such

as science, foreign languages and mathematics,

for example

, is essential for children to function in today's

society

Nevertheless

, in my point of view

subjects

where the children are

beeing

Correct your spelling

being

active must not be forgotten in the national curriculum in order to prevent health problems, which could damage our

society

in another way.

Submitted by regina-reusch on Mon Jan 03 2022

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

13Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
12Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

280 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

6
band
In some countries, more and more people are becoming interested in finding out about the history of the house or building they live in. What are the reasons for this? How can people research this? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
It is true that the number of people who are fascinated with collecting information about the history of the buildings or flats that they live in is increasing. There might be some reasons, such as gaining information about that, and some steps should be taken, like using technology or the elderly to realize the past of neighbourhoods or buildings.
<4
band
Today more and more tourists are visiting places where conditions are difficult to live such as Sahara desert or Antarctica. Do advantages outweight the disadvantage of live there .
The table shows the total number of visitors to Ashdown Museum before and after refurbishment during the year. The pie charts illustrate the results of surveys of visitor satisfaction with titles such as “Very satisfied, Satisfied, Dissatisfied, Very Dissatisfied and No response” in percentage.
7.5
band
These days the fashions in clothing are constantly changing. Is this affecting individuals and the environment in a positive or a negative way? Give reasons for your answer and include relevant examples from your knowledge and experience.
Is it right to say that dressing sense is a dynamic commodity? Either it has an advantageous or disadvantageous impact on society. In my perspective, this changing style in clothing and fashion affects different age groups in both ways. The following paragraphs will elaborate my point of view with supporting evidence.
<4
band
Some people think that it is more effective for students to study in groups, while others believe that it is better for them to study alone. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
It is argued by some people that it is more better for particular group of adolscents to study with classmates together on a project, while for others better to study themselves. Despite studying alone can gives more freedom for students making tasks more individually, to study in a collective more beneficial, for having more interesting process, and communication skill development.
4.5
band
Question B Large companies should pay higher salaries to CEOs and executives compared to other workers. To what extent do you agree or disagree? (Write 250 words.)
I agreed with the statement that The ceo and executives must be a leader and symbolic of their company. some of them are very famous but l am sure all of them have their own experience and knowledge that means they must come with high salary that the company must have to pay depending on their contract.

Some people believe that it is essential to include Physical Education classes in the curriculum for all school-aged children. Others think that children's time is better spent on more academic subjects. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Fully explain your ideas

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

In some countries, more and more people are becoming interested in finding out about the history of the house or building they live in. What are the reasons for this? How can people research this? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Today more and more tourists are visiting places where conditions are difficult to live such as Sahara desert or Antarctica. Do advantages outweight the disadvantage of live there .

These days the fashions in clothing are constantly changing. Is this affecting individuals and the environment in a positive or a negative way? Give reasons for your answer and include relevant examples from your knowledge and experience.

Some people think that it is more effective for students to study in groups, while others believe that it is better for them to study alone. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Question B Large companies should pay higher salaries to CEOs and executives compared to other workers. To what extent do you agree or disagree? (Write 250 words.)