Shopping is the favorite pastime for most of the young people. Why do you think is that? Do you think they should be encouraged to do some other useful activities?

In the present world, it has become really convenient to get anything at our doorsteps. With the ubiquitous malls and a number of mobile
application
Fix the agreement mistake
applications
show examples
, the young folks, these days spend a lot of their
time
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
buying things for themselves. I completely believe that they should be engaged
into
Change preposition
in
show examples
activities that could benefit them as they are wasting their precious
time
. The youngsters get fascinated with the advertisements and marketing strategies and spend more
time
than usual
into
Change preposition
apply
show examples
looking for products they don't even need. They end up purchasing those unnecessary items.
As a result
, they lose their valuable hours and money and definitely should be made aware
how
Change preposition
of how
show examples
detrimental
this
can be.
Firstly
, they can consider interesting activities
such
as dance, art and crafts or music. They can devote
time
into
Change preposition
to
show examples
hobbies that can prove
advantegeous
Correct your spelling
advantageous
to them in future.
Moreover
, they can
also
consider focusing on their mental and physical fitness with
intersting
Correct your spelling
interesting
forms,
for instance
, sports like football or tennis, yoga or
zumba
Change the capitalization
Zumba
show examples
. Another point to consider is that
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
online shopping applications are available to them at all times as everyone has access to mobile phones these days. They should understand how harmful clinging
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
to mobile phones can be.
In other words
, they should learn how vital it is to understand the value of utilizing
time
and should refrain from over-spending. They should realize that at their age, they should be taking up interests that would lead to their improvement. In conclusion, young boys and girls should realize that they are at the most crucial phase of their lives and should opt for hobbies that should prove helpful to them and give a sense of achievement.
Submitted by shatakshi117 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • pastime
  • encouraged
  • useful activities
  • self-expression
  • creativity
  • sense of accomplishment
  • satisfaction
  • social interaction
  • bonding
  • escaping
  • daily routine
  • stress
  • instant gratification
  • pleasure
  • keeping up
  • trends
  • fashion
  • exploring
  • products
  • experiences
  • boosting
  • self-confidence
  • supporting
  • local businesses
  • economy
  • discovering
  • personal style
  • preferences
What to do next:
Look at other essays: