Shopping is the favorite pastime for most of the young people. Why do you think is that? Do you think they should be encouraged to do some other useful activities?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?

In the present world, it has become really convenient to get anything at our doorsteps. With the ubiquitous malls and a number of mobile

application

Fix the agreement mistake

applications

show examples

, the young folks, these days spend a lot of their

time

Change preposition

apply

show examples

buying things for themselves. I completely believe that they should be engaged

into

Change preposition

show examples

activities that could benefit them as they are wasting their precious

time

. The youngsters get fascinated with the advertisements and marketing strategies and spend more

time

than usual

into

Change preposition

apply

show examples

looking for products they don't even need. They end up purchasing those unnecessary items.

As a result

, they lose their valuable hours and money and definitely should be made aware

how

Change preposition

of how

show examples

detrimental

this

can be.

Firstly

, they can consider interesting activities

such

as dance, art and crafts or music. They can devote

time

into

Change preposition

show examples

hobbies that can prove

advantegeous

Correct your spelling

advantageous

to them in future.

Moreover

, they can

also

consider focusing on their mental and physical fitness with

intersting

Correct your spelling

interesting

forms,

for instance

, sports like football or tennis, yoga or

zumba

Change the capitalization

Zumba

show examples

. Another point to consider is that

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

online shopping applications are available to them at all times as everyone has access to mobile phones these days. They should understand how harmful clinging

Change preposition

apply

show examples

to mobile phones can be.

In other words

, they should learn how vital it is to understand the value of utilizing

time

and should refrain from over-spending. They should realize that at their age, they should be taking up interests that would lead to their improvement. In conclusion, young boys and girls should realize that they are at the most crucial phase of their lives and should opt for hobbies that should prove helpful to them and give a sense of achievement.

Submitted by shatakshi117 on Mon Jan 03 2022

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
11
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.5

Complete response

6.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

282 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

Topic Vocabulary:

pastime
encouraged
useful activities
self-expression
creativity
sense of accomplishment
satisfaction
social interaction
bonding
escaping
daily routine
stress
instant gratification
pleasure
keeping up
trends
fashion
exploring
products
experiences
boosting
self-confidence
supporting
local businesses
economy
discovering
personal style
preferences

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

6.5
band
It is difficult for people living in cities to get enough physical exercise. What are the causes and what solutions can be taken to solve the problem? (Health)
Nowadays, citizens who live in cities hardly get enough workouts. This is because they are likely to have a high workflow and it is pretty expensive to register as members of the gym. To tackle these problems, people can do their exercise at home and try to improve their time management.
5.5
band
Art classes, such as painting or drawing, are as important for children’s development as other subjects, so it should be compulsory in high school. Do you agree or disagree?
Many people believe that art classes should be mandatory for all children in schools. However, I disagree with this viewpoint and believe that children should have the choice to decide whether to take art classes or not.
5.5
band
You have just started a course in a college which has no sports facilities of its own. Write a letter to the manager of the nearest private sports club. In your letter Introduce yourself Say why you are interested in this club Ask some questions about the club e.g facilities, members, costs.
My name is Mehribon and I study at Cambridge college.I am writing this letter to express my interest in joining your sports club. I am a sports person and I do sport every day .Moreover sports are beneficial my health and it keeps me fit.Unfortunately ,our college does not have sports club .I saw an advertisement your sports club and your location is near my college. I would like to get more information.
5.5
band
An increasing number of larger shopping areas, malls and department stores are leading to the decline of smaller corner shops. what are the advantages and disadvantages of shopping in larger shopping centers rather than smaller, more traditional shops?
In recent times, the popularity of local shops has been gradually declining due to the rapid growth of big shopping malls, shopping areas, and department stores. This essay will discuss the benefits of purchasing in mega malls, such as the comfortable experience, the vast variety of products, and affordability. It will also highlight the limited opportunities for bargaining, which tend to be the major drawbacks of shopping in such places.
8
band
There is an increasing trend around the world of married couples deciding not to have children. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages for couples who decide to do this.
There has been an increasing number of people deciding to go on childless marriages. While it is believed that those husbands and wives will inevitably face social discrimination, I argue that leading a married life without children would allow them more time to focus on their careers.

Shopping is the favorite pastime for most of the young people. Why do you think is that? Do you think they should be encouraged to do some other useful activities?

Fully explain your ideas

It is difficult for people living in cities to get enough physical exercise. What are the causes and what solutions can be taken to solve the problem? (Health)

Art classes, such as painting or drawing, are as important for children’s development as other subjects, so it should be compulsory in high school. Do you agree or disagree?

You have just started a course in a college which has no sports facilities of its own. Write a letter to the manager of the nearest private sports club. In your letter Introduce yourself Say why you are interested in this club Ask some questions about the club e.g facilities, members, costs.

An increasing number of larger shopping areas, malls and department stores are leading to the decline of smaller corner shops. what are the advantages and disadvantages of shopping in larger shopping centers rather than smaller, more traditional shops?

There is an increasing trend around the world of married couples deciding not to have children. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages for couples who decide to do this.