IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7

Some schools encounter problems with students' behaviour. Why do such problems occur? What is the role of family in this situation?

#schools #encounter #students #behaviour #role #situation
Some schools confront issues of
students
' bad acts. In
this
 essay, I will present a couple of reasons why
children
 behave badly and discuss the essential role which their family should play. These days, it is said that the
parents
 tend to have a seldom strong attention for
children
.
Although
 there are some possible causes, one of the most prominent reasons would be the
parents
' dedication to the work. Because they do not have sufficient time to teach their
children
 how to behave politely in society.
Therefore
,
students
 might not have enough knowledge to interact with the other person.
Furthermore
, the other possible reason is their inability to study. If
students
 can not achieve a good performance in an examination, they sometimes may behave badly. Indeed, working hard is a vital thing for a living, but
parents
 should make more communication with their
children
 and teach them what the right behaviour is in school.
Furthermore
,
parents
' frequent Interaction with teachers
also
 plays a pivotal role in terms of building a positive environment for
students
.
For example
, in Japan, it is a usual thing for
parents
 to keep a diary about their
children
's behaviour at home and hand out it to the teacher.
Additionally
,
parents
 sometimes teach their
children
 some subjects in school. In conclusion, the possible reasons for
students
' negative behaviour would be the lack of communication with their family and the delay in the study.
Thus
, in order to solve these,
parents
 should interact with their
children
 more frequently and sometimes make advice to them about the school curriculum.
Submitted by hayamiosaki on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • disciplinary actions
  • misconduct
  • unruly behavior
  • delinquent behavior
  • disciplinary measures
  • individual choices
  • negative peer pressure
  • family dynamics
  • parental supervision
  • parental guidance
  • parent-child relationship
  • role models
  • communication gap
  • moral values
  • ethical values
  • technological advancements
  • deteriorating behavior
What to do next:
Look at other essays: