Many people put their personal information online (address, telephone number,...) for everyday activities such as socializing on social networks or banking purposes. Do you think it is a positive or negative development?

#people #information #address #telephone #activities #networks #purposes #development

During

these

Correct determiner usage

this

show examples

time

Fix the agreement mistake

times

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where the whole world is suffered

bacause

Correct your spelling

because

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

deseases

Correct your spelling

diseases

. Almost everything

have

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has

show examples

to be held online. Making

alot

Correct your spelling

a lot

of people

putting

Wrong verb form

put

show examples

their own personal

info

on the internet for convenient uses. But little did they know they are

Correct your spelling

easy

show examples

ease

Correct your spelling

easy

show examples

prey to cyber-criminals

in other words

hackers. In my opinion, there

are

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show examples

some grave

danger

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dangers

show examples

but there are

also

some benefits when putting your

info

online. It is no doubt that everything

Correct your spelling

nowadays

show examples

nowaday

Correct your spelling

nowadays

show examples

can be done online. From shopping to working to even studying. Having your personal

info

online can do you even more than that.

For instance

, you can order every

things

Change to a singular noun

thing

show examples

you need with just a few clicks, you can

use

many services available online only.

Furthermore

, there are many privileges that you can obtain like

online-banking

Correct your spelling

online banking

show examples

in which you do not need to go to a bank to

use

Correct pronoun usage

its

show examples

services. Granted that it may have many

benefit

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benefits

show examples

for

user

Add an article

the user

show examples

, it

also

contain

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contains

show examples

may danger to those that are careless. Cyber-criminals

otherwise

called

hacker

Fix the agreement mistake

hackers

show examples

can break into your online account to steal your personal

info

for their own

use

. They can take all your money from your bank account which

then

use

that money to buy

illegal

Add an article

the illegal

show examples

product

Fix the agreement mistake

products

show examples

under your name. They can

use

that

info

to commit more crimes which

then

leads to you being the suspect. Or they could

use

your

info

to steal other

info

. There are many things an online theif can do with your personal

informantion

Correct your spelling

information

making it

extremly

Correct your spelling

extremely

dangerous to put your important information that you

dont

Correct your spelling

don't

want anyone to know online. To conclude

this

, while it is relatively easy and convenient to browse the internet when you placed your personal information there but it

also

contain

Change the verb form

contains

show examples

many dangers that could even harm you if you are not careful enough when going online.

Therefore

in my point of view, you should only put your

info

online when you know what you are doing and you have done enough research to know that it is safe to do so.

Submitted by msphuong1234 on Tue Jan 04 2022

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Fully explain your ideas

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
27Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

340 words

5.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

6.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

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Topic Vocabulary:

Personal information
Online privacy
Security concerns
Identity theft
Enhanced connectivity
Convenient access
Social networks
Banking purposes
Positive development
Negative impact

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Many people put their personal information online (address, telephone number,...) for everyday activities such as socializing on social networks or banking purposes. Do you think it is a positive or negative development?

Fully explain your ideas

Many people try to achieve success through their career or education. What can success mean to different people? What is your view of success?

In some countries, many people suffer from health problems due to eating too much fast food. It is , therefore, necessary for governments to impose a higher tax on this kind of food. Do you agree or disagree ?

Many aspects of culture and people's lifestyle are becoming increasingly similar throughout the world. Although this trend has some benefits, I would agree that the disadvantages are more noteworthy.

Some people think government should focus on reducing environmental pollution and housing problems to help prevent illness and disease. To what extent do you agree or disagree.

There is evidence that inhaling cigarette smoke causes health problems not only for smoker but for non-smokers who inhale other people’s smoke. In view of this, smoking should be banned in all public places, even though this would restrict some people’s freedom and action. What are your views?