Many people put their personal information online (address, telephone number,...) for everyday activities such as socializing on social networks or banking purposes. Do you think it is a positive or negative development?

#people #information #address #telephone #activities #networks #purposes #development

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?

During

these

Correct determiner usage

this

show examples

time

Fix the agreement mistake

times

show examples

where the whole world is suffered

bacause

Correct your spelling

because

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

deseases

Correct your spelling

diseases

. Almost everything

have

Change the verb form

has

show examples

to be held online. Making

alot

Correct your spelling

a lot

of people

putting

Wrong verb form

put

show examples

their own personal

info

Use synonyms

on the internet for convenient uses. But little did they know they are

Correct your spelling

easy

show examples

ease

Correct your spelling

easy

show examples

prey to cyber-criminals

in other words

Linking Words

hackers. In my opinion, there

are

Change the verb form

show examples

some grave

danger

Fix the agreement mistake

dangers

show examples

but there are

also

Linking Words

some benefits when putting your

info

Use synonyms

online. It is no doubt that everything

Correct your spelling

nowadays

show examples

nowaday

Correct your spelling

nowadays

show examples

can be done online. From shopping to working to even studying. Having your personal

info

Use synonyms

online can do you even more than that.

For instance

Linking Words

, you can order every

things

Change to a singular noun

thing

show examples

you need with just a few clicks, you can

use

Use synonyms

many services available online only.

Furthermore

Linking Words

, there are many privileges that you can obtain like

online-banking

Correct your spelling

online banking

show examples

in which you do not need to go to a bank to

use

Use synonyms

Correct pronoun usage

its

show examples

services. Granted that it may have many

benefit

Change to a plural noun

benefits

show examples

for

user

Add an article

the user

show examples

, it

also

Linking Words

contain

Change the verb form

contains

show examples

may danger to those that are careless. Cyber-criminals

otherwise

Linking Words

called

hacker

Fix the agreement mistake

hackers

show examples

can break into your online account to steal your personal

info

Use synonyms

for their own

use

Use synonyms

. They can take all your money from your bank account which

then

Linking Words

use

Use synonyms

that money to buy

illegal

Add an article

the illegal

show examples

product

Fix the agreement mistake

products

show examples

under your name. They can

use

Use synonyms

that

info

Use synonyms

to commit more crimes which

then

Linking Words

leads to you being the suspect. Or they could

use

Use synonyms

your

info

Use synonyms

to steal other

info

Use synonyms

. There are many things an online theif can do with your personal

informantion

Correct your spelling

information

making it

extremly

Correct your spelling

extremely

dangerous to put your important information that you

dont

Correct your spelling

don't

want anyone to know online. To conclude

this

Linking Words

, while it is relatively easy and convenient to browse the internet when you placed your personal information there but it

also

Linking Words

contain

Change the verb form

contains

show examples

many dangers that could even harm you if you are not careful enough when going online.

Therefore

Linking Words

in my point of view, you should only put your

info

Use synonyms

online when you know what you are doing and you have done enough research to know that it is safe to do so.

Submitted by msphuong1234 on Tue Jan 04 2022

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
27
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

6.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

340 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

Topic Vocabulary:

Personal information
Online privacy
Security concerns
Identity theft
Enhanced connectivity
Convenient access
Social networks
Banking purposes
Positive development
Negative impact

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

4
band
Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of living and working in a foreign
Frist of all, there is no doubt that living or working in a foreign country is one of all of young people’s dreams , to sure up this point, you can easy notice their behaviors, education, and the respecting to whom working abroad or educated there. But do working or living abroad really deserve?. There are two faces for foreign country.
5
band
Some people say that to prevent illness and disease, governments should focus more on reducing environmental pollution and housing problems.To what extent do you agree or disagree?
There is an argumentative conception heating a debate whether dealing with pollution and accommodation problems should be put into priority by the authorities in order to prevent deterioration in humans’ health. From my point of view, I consider myself an advocate of this idea.
7
band
You are a student at an English language school in Brighton and are living in private accommodation with other flat mates. You have not had hot water or heating for some time. The landlord’s workmen have tried to fix the problem but without success. Write a letter to the landlord. In your letter, state your reason for writing describe the problems and explain how you feel propose a solution and risk the landlord to take action
I hope you are doing well. I am Sara. I am your tenant who is living in your apartment in Brighton. We have been living in your flat for about one year and honestly, everything has been perfect up to now. But now, I am writing a letter to tell you some points about the heating condition of the apartment.
7
band
In some countries, the government has tried to reduce traffic. For instance, they imposed a congestion tax during rush hour. Do you think this development is positive or negative?
Over the past decade, the management of traffic jams in many metropolises remains a challenging task, particularly in peak hours. To address this thorny issue, certain states have introduced taxes on congestion with the hope of minimizing traffic density. This essay will analyze the advantages and disadvantages of this implementation, eventually supporting its efficacy.
7.5
band
Advanced technology has brought many beneficial changes to the world. However, some old people today struggle with the use of technologies such as mobile phones and the Internet. How can the elderly benefit from using advanced technologies? How can the elderly be encouraged to use consumer electronics more often?
It is commonly believed that older generations today find difficulty using the advanced technology that is bringing beneficial changes to the world. This essay will discuss how modern technology can benefit old people and the measures taken to encourage them to consume more electronic devices.

Many people put their personal information online (address, telephone number,...) for everyday activities such as socializing on social networks or banking purposes. Do you think it is a positive or negative development?

Fully explain your ideas

Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of living and working in a foreign

Some people say that to prevent illness and disease, governments should focus more on reducing environmental pollution and housing problems.To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In some countries, the government has tried to reduce traffic. For instance, they imposed a congestion tax during rush hour. Do you think this development is positive or negative?