Today people are surrounded by advertising. This affects what people think is important and has a negative impact on people’s lives. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Advertising can be all around us in many different forms nowadays. In my opinion, it is partially true that it has some advantages.
However
, I agree that it could bring along more of the disadvantages.
This
essay will elaborate on my point of view. In
this
modern world, there are plenty of offers of products and services that
brought
Wrong verb form
bring
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high competition in the market.
Thus
, creating more channels for advertising
such
as using digital ads and social media, online reviews or macro-micro influencers, has become crucial in business development in order to reach more customers and turn their interest into purchasing.
While
these actions would only help the business owners with increasing their product reach and their revenues, their downsides are inevitably pushed to consumers. As aforementioned, to get customers’ focus, the marketers tend to design their commercial to be as splendid as possible which
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
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also
mean
Correct subject-verb agreement
means
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the least flaws they would provide.
For example
, restaurants are likely to state in the menu with a tiny font saying that the picture is only for advertising to disguise
customer
Fix the agreement mistake
customers
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about the portions or how it looks, or supplement sellers hiring a TV star to be the face of the product to gain more liability
while
it does not actually meet the standard of the Ministry of Health as frequently seen in the news. Just as if the advertising is
depended
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dependent
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only on the morality and credibility of the business owners.
As a result
of not reaching all the essential information, the consumers could be harmed
from
Change preposition
by
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misusing the product or wasting money on what they do not actually expect. In conclusion, I agree that the increase of advertising format might benefit the producers but it cannot outweigh the disadvantages of the consumers that have to face in purchasing products and services.
Submitted by pammmmz.95 on

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task response
Your essay addresses the topic and presents your opinion clearly. However, it would be more effective if you provided stronger arguments and counterarguments to support your viewpoint.
coherence cohesion
Overall, your essay has a logical structure and is well-organized. However, you can improve the coherence by using more transitional words and phrases to connect your ideas and paragraphs.
lexical resource
Your essay demonstrates a good range of vocabulary. To further enhance your lexical resource, consider incorporating more sophisticated and varied vocabulary into your writing.
grammatical range
Your grammar is generally accurate with some minor errors. To improve your grammatical range, try using a wider variety of sentence structures and more complex grammar constructions.
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