Employers sometimes ask people applying for jobs for personal information, such as their hobbies and interests, and whether they are married or single. Some people say that this information may be relevant and useful. Others disagree. Discuss both there views and give your opinion.

It is thought by some people that sharing personal details related to an employee can be useful, while others believe that it can bring only destruction to their work life. In
this
essay
Add a comma
,essay
show examples
I will examine
this
question from both points and explain why I believe that providing personal information can be beneficial. There are people who support the idea
not
Change preposition
of not
show examples
to hide
Change the verb form
hiding
show examples
personal data from
work
Add an article
the work
show examples
environment and I agree with them. The main reason for an employer to make the correct assessment is the possibility to understand the personal life of a worker.
As a result
, it can help to correctly outline appropriate duties carried out by
this
person.
Moreover
, being
as
Change preposition
apply
show examples
an open-minded person is vital to avoid a feeling of isolation in a new collective.
For example
, all colleagues interact better with a person who
share
Change the verb form
shares
show examples
with them facts linked to families and friends.
On the other hand
, others believe that personal information must be hidden and protected. There is a widespread approach to separate work and personal life because it is better to avoid considering colleagues as the best friends. A
second
point is that
this
is the best way to prevent gossips. The numerous
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
social research point that the most prevalent place to spread out
rumors
Change the spelling
rumours
show examples
is
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
workplace. In conclusion, I believe that both arguments have their merits. On balance,
however
, I
fell
Correct your spelling
feel
show examples
that sharing information related to families and interests can play a key role in order to avoid isolation in a collective and
increase
Wrong verb form
increasing
show examples
chances
Correct article usage
the chances
show examples
to be promoted.
Submitted by ipok on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • job application
  • personal information
  • hobbies and interests
  • marital status
  • relevant
  • useful
  • privacy
  • assessing candidates
  • qualifications
  • experience
What to do next:
Look at other essays: