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Band 3.5

Some people believe that it is good to share as much information as possible ina scientific research, bussiness and the acedemic world. Others believe that some information is too important or too valuable to be shared freely. Dicuss both the views and give your own opinion?

#people #information #ina #research #bussiness #acedemic #world #dicuss
In the modern world of Social
media
Add a comma
,media
show examples
people
share
 a lot of
information
 related to science, business or study.
Some times
Correct your spelling
Sometimes
show examples
 the
information
 is correct
however
Add the comma(s)
,however
show examples
, in
majority
Add an article
the majority
a majority
show examples
 of the situations a lot of wrong
information
 is published which is incorrect. There is always a debate around what
information
 should be shared and what not.
Firstly
, there is a set of
Add an article
the group
a group
show examples
group
Fix the agreement mistake
groups
show examples
which
Correct pronoun usage
who
show examples
 feel that we should
share
 as much
as
Change preposition
apply
show examples
information
 as possible. The reason for
this
 belief is that sharing is caring and
information
 should reach to
maximum
Change the article
a maximum
the maximum
show examples
 number of
people
.
For instance
, there are some groups over the internet
who
Correct pronoun usage
that
show examples
 provide free education to all.
Secondly
,
on the contrary
, the other group feel that some
information
 is too
valueable
Correct your spelling
valuable
 to be posted free of cost.
This
 set of
people
feel
Change the verb form
feels
show examples
 that if every valuable
information
 is sent free of cost
then
majority
Add an article
the majority
a majority
show examples
 of the
eduational
Correct your spelling
educational
centers
Change the spelling
centres
show examples
 will fail and there will be no value of the
information
.
Additonally
Correct your spelling
Additionally
 in some cases it might be misused. To conclude, we can say that it is good to
share
 the
information
 so that maximum
people
 can use it.
However
,
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 feel that we should
share
 only that
information
 which is true and is of use to everybody.
Submitted by sumitbakshi97 on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
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    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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