Nowadays many children are playing computer games instead of doing sports activities. Why is it happening? Is it a negative or positive development?

It is true that
children
are living in a virtual world these days, as
result
Add an article
a result
show examples
a sizeable proportion of
children
in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society prefer to play video
games
rather than
doing
Wrong verb form
do
show examples
sports. There are several
reasons
for which I believe
this
to be a negative
development
. There are several
reasons
why toddlers like to play
computer
games
more than outdoor
games
. One
such
reason is that, addiction to digital
games
. To be specific, digital
games
provide a kind of thrill in toddlers and as
result
Add a comma
,result
show examples
they feel to spend
Add a hyphen
long-playing
show examples
Correct article usage
a long
show examples
long
Replace the word
longer
show examples
playing these
games
.
For example
, in a recent study conducted by Southern University that 75% of
children
spend long hours in front of
computer
Add an article
a computer
the computer
show examples
by
Change preposition
apply
show examples
playing
games
. Another reason is that, the
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
hectic lifestyle of parents. In detail, due to
busy
Correct article usage
the busy
show examples
work schedule of
parents
Add a comma
,parents
show examples
they merely get
time
to spend with
children
to play outdoor
games
.
As a
result
,
children
depend on gargets for free
time
activity.
Hence
, these are
reasons
why schoolers prefer virtual
games
rather
Correct your spelling
than
show examples
that
Correct your spelling
than
show examples
physical activities. As an outcome of the above-mentioned
reasons
, I believe that playing
computer
games
is certainly a negative
development
.
This
is primarily because
computer
games
deteriorate the socialization skills
in
Change preposition
of
show examples
children
.
This
would mean that, since
children
spend more
time
playing video
games
, they do not get enough
time
to interact with family and friends and
as a
result
Add a comma
,result
show examples
they
lack
socialization skills.
For instance
, recent studies proved that
children
who are addicted to visual
games
become more
introvert
Replace the word
introverted
show examples
.
Likewise
,
lack
of physical activities leads to various health issues in
children
. To be clear,
children
suffer from obesity and
other disease
Change the wording
another disease
other diseases
show examples
like diabetics, cholesterol as they
lack
physical exercise while spending most of the
time
playing
computer
games
.
This
can be illustrated with an example;
recent
Correct article usage
a recent
show examples
survey suggests that 80% of toddlers become obese due to
lack
of physical activity.
Therefore
, I believe that playing
computer
games
is a negative
development
. To conclude, it is evident that playing digital
games
by avoiding physical exercise is an adverse
development
from
Change preposition
for
show examples
the above-mentioned
reasons
.
Submitted by divyaesa2012 on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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