IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Scientific researches should be the responsibility of governments rather than commercial organizations. Do you agree or disagree with this statement?

#responsibility #governments #organizations
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
It is widely believed that scientific researches should not be the responsibility of governments
besides
 government, commercial
organization
Fix the agreement mistake
organizations
show examples
 have to take amenableness. I hold the view that private
company
Fix the agreement mistake
companies
show examples
 are more beneficial in
this
 sector as compared to
state
Add an article
the state
show examples
. I
am disagree
Change the verb form
disagree
show examples
 with
this
 statement and now in
this
essay
Add a comma
,essay
show examples
 I will discuss that, how
private
Add an article
the private
a private
show examples
 organization is good for
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
scientific exploration.
Firstly
, nobody would dispute the fact that
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 owner of the
company
 Tesla
Mr.
Change the punctuation
Mr
show examples
 Elon musk announced the electric vehicle which becomes very legendary among all the country's citizens
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 because
this
 was an incredible launch which shows a different view regarding fuel consumption to all the other automobile companies. And
this
 can be lead to a new achievement towards
fire wood
Correct your spelling
firewood
show examples
 used in asunder countries.
Secondly
, research suggests that the
first
company
 which arranges a tour out of the planet earth is named
as
Change preposition
apply
show examples
Space-X, and
this
company
 is
also
 a private organization. An individual who never thought that he/she can travel in space, but
this
company
 makes it possible by space exploration. A human who travelled all over the world now he/
she
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
can travel in space easily by just spending money. To conclude, there are many government
oraganization
Correct your spelling
organization
 as well who researches and creates benchmark
continously
Correct your spelling
continuously
. But, commercial ones are having great outputs in
this
 area. As I discussed that a new automobile fuel was discovered by tesla, and travelling become possible because of
space-x
Correct article usage
the space-x
show examples
company
, and there are many other examples as well. So,
state
Add an article
the state
show examples
 has to
be promote
Change the verb form
promote
show examples
 mercantile organizations for the rapid growth in
this
 field.
Submitted by mayankpd2016 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: