IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people say that the government should pay for the public healthcare and education while others say it is not the governments responsibility do you agree or disagree?

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There is
a
Correct article usage
apply
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divergent
views
Change the noun form
view
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 about government policy. Some people believe that governments should concentrate on paying for
the
Correct article usage
apply
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public healthcare and even
education
Use synonyms
.
On
Change preposition
In
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contrast
Add an article
the contrast
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, some believe that healthcare and
education
Use synonyms
 are not associated with government and authorities should focus on other subjects. In the following paragraphs, I intend to outline the arguments of both sides. It is true and irrefutable
that is
Linking Words
 the
governments
Change to a genitive case
government's
governments'
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 responsibility to make basic health and primary
education
Use synonyms
. If government increase the public health level, there will be
less
Correct quantifier usage
fewer
show examples
 infectious diseases.
For instance
Linking Words
, during the COVID-19 pandemic. When people got infected and the symptoms were relieved if there was a free cure for
this
Linking Words
 virus and sick people got the cure as soon as possible, it would eradicate
this
Linking Words
 illness at the beginning.
This
Linking Words
 might have a positive impact on
current
Add an article
the current
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 economy.
In addition
Linking Words
, free
education
Use synonyms
have
Change the verb form
has
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 its own benefit for society. The reason is that the nation’s prosperity very much depends on the contribution made by its well-educated citizens.
Initially
Linking Words
, students with low financial strength
are not worry
Change the verb form
are not worried
are not worrying
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 about paying tuition. They can completely focus on their lessons to get higher grades and get a degree.
Linking Words
Also
Add a comma
,Also
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 they can think about job prospects and get hired in a place with a good salary.
Secondly
Linking Words
, individuals who live in
a rural areas
Correct the article-noun agreement
rural areas
a rural area
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 with narrow
circumstance
Fix the agreement mistake
circumstances
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 can get educated.
Linking Words
Also
Add a comma
,Also
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 they can discover their capacity. In
other ward
Change the wording
another ward
other wards
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, ensuring these elements can secure their future and it will solve so many issues in current society. After having explored
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 have reached the conclusion that governments should pay for
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
public healthcare and
education
Use synonyms
 and I completely agree with
this
Linking Words
 view.
Finally
Linking Words
,
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 Believe private schools and private hospitals can be available for those who want and can
afford
Correct pronoun usage
themafford
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 ,but
The
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
free schools and free hospitals should always be there.

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Universal health care
  • Socio-economic background
  • Government-backed
  • Economic growth
  • Workforce
  • Innovations
  • Bureaucracy
  • One-size-fits-all solutions
  • Private sectors
  • Fundamental right
  • Public funding
  • Health care and education standards
  • Efficiency
  • Inefficiency
  • Economic development
  • Public health
  • Taxation
  • Competitiveness
  • Quality of services
  • Access to education
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