IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some people say that public libraries should be free; otherwise they are just a waste of money, especially because modern technologies and the internet allow easy access to resources. Discuss and give your point of view.

#people #libraries #waste #money #technologies #internet #access #resources #point
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Many today come to the conclusion that communal
libraries
 should be free of charge ,
however
, others believe they are a waste because of the easy access to many resources of modern technologies. In my point of view, public
libraries
 should not be free. On the one hand, there are numerous books which include a lot of necessary
information
.
Therefore
, if they are free for everybody, more and more
people
 can access
these official
Change the determiner
this official information
show examples
information
. Nowadays, thanks to the development of modern technologies, a large amount of data is updated on the internet which
consist
Change the verb form
consists
show examples
 of both censored and uncensored
information
.
Thus
, it is easy for
people
 to be misled by these fake data.
On the other hand
, many
people
 have a
belief
Replace the word
believe
show examples
 that
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
communal
libraries
 should not be free. The governments need a large amount of money in order to operate a library as well as
repairing
Wrong verb form
repair
show examples
 the
libraries
’ facilities and the money that
people
 pay to use the library service is contributed to the preservation expenditure.
In addition
, books in
libraries
 usually contain a high value of education and entertainment which modern technologies can not provide to the users. For
this
 reason,
people
 should spend their money to use
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
quality service. All things considered, communal
libraries
 are used to store diverse book genres and these books usually contain
high quality
Add a hyphen
high-quality
show examples
information
that is
 necessary for readers. To my way of thinking, I firmly trusted that
libraries
 should be paid to use.
Submitted by doibichhoa on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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