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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Some people say that advertising is extremely successful at persuading us to buy things. Others think that advertising is so common that we no longer pay attention to it. Discuss both views and give your own opinions.

#people #attention
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Advertisements have become part of our daily life, we can see them everywhere. Some
people
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 think that
citizens
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 just ignore them, while
this
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 essay believes that it can still attract
customers
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. On the one hand, there are two reasons why
customers
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 no longer pay attention to them. The main reason is
because
Replace the word
that
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 companies always exaggerate the effects of their
products
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 on the advertisement.
For example
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, some
skin care
Correct your spelling
skincare
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Use synonyms
products
Fix the agreement mistake
product
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 ads state that their lotions can remove wrinkles but actually they cannot.
Therefore
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,
citizens
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 will not believe in what the commercials
shows
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show
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 and will not pay attention to them. Another reason is that advertisements can be seen everywhere. No matter walking on the street or watching YouTube at home,
people
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 must watch some ads, so many
citizens
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 think that they are boring and annoying.
On the other hand
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, there are two reasons why it can still persuade
people
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 to buy things.
Firstly
Linking Words
, commercials can introduce some special functions of the product. Companies can inform
customers
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 what their
products
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 are different from others and
people
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 may be attracted by
it
Correct pronoun usage
them
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.
Moreover
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, advertisements can introduce some new
products
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. Many
people
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 prefer buying the latest
products
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 as they are curious about the difference between the new one and the old one.
For instance
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,
people
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 may notice there is a new model of
smartphone
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the smartphone
a smartphone
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 if it is promoted
in
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on
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 TV and they may purchase the product. To conclude,
although
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citizens
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 may not put too much
Fix the agreement mistake
attention
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attentions
Correct your spelling
attention
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 on commercials, it can still provide an opportunity for companies to inform
customers
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 of their
products
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 as well as the unique characteristics and exclusive benefits.
As a result
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, it can still promote consumer culture and encourage
people
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 to buy things.
Submitted by chloelwy3905 on

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Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • persuade
  • promote
  • attract
  • influence
  • impact
  • consumerism
  • commercialism
  • market
  • product
  • brand
  • endorsement
  • manipulative
  • saturated
  • overwhelmed
  • repetitive
  • distracting
  • irrelevant
  • exaggerated
  • misleading
  • desensitized
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