IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Many countries spend large amounts of money on preparing competitors in major world sporting events such as the Olympic Games and football World Cup. Instead, this money can be spent on encouraging children to take up sports at a young age.To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Sports
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 have always been a highly controversial issue. It is often argued that it would have far-reaching outcomes if the budget allocated to
world
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 championships
such
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 as the Olympic
games
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Games
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as
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, as
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 well as the Football
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world cup
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World Cup
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by
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, by
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 the government ,
was
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were
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specialized
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specialised
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to
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for
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the
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apply
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kids to encourage them to take
sports
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 seriously.
This
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 essay will discuss why I partly agree and disagree with
this
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 belief.
To begin
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, it is imperative to advocate
the
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for the
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 sport's
majorsbusiness
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apply
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majors financially
due to
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 two reasons. First and
most
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foremost
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 is its crucial role in young generations' setting goals as they can see the lucrative income of the prominent athletes.In England,
for example
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, most of
alpha
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Alpha
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 and
generation
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Generation
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 Z crave to be football players just by the inspiration of David Beckham. The second reason is the national pride and credit
that is
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 highly likely to be obtained by the
sports
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 teams in outstanding international competitions. Take Iran as an example,its residents have been known to the
world
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 by wrestling as Iranian wrestlers have always been prolific champions.
On the other hand
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, money allocation to the kids' department for the purpose of incentivising them to
sports
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 can affect the community tremendously.Indeed,there is no shadow of a doubt that there
a
Verb problem
is a
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plethora of juveniles and juniors in different angles of
this
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world
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world,
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 especially
developing
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in developing
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 countries
such
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 as Afghanistan and Pakistan , who are
under-privileged
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underprivileged
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 despite their talents and in
a
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apply
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pressing need of
this
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 financial aid to nurture their competencies and flourish. Ultimately, by adopting
this
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approach
Punctuation problem
approach,
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 not only do the children as individuals benefit
but
Punctuation problem
, but
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also
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 the whole community. In conclusion, I reaffirm my position
on
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of
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 partially agreeing
disagreeing
Correct word choice
and disagreeing
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 with the notion of investing a fortune in youth clubs rather than the global competitive
fields
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fields,
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 as it tends to help
the
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apply
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people
be swelled
Wrong verb form
swell
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 with
pride
Punctuation problem
pride,
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 as well as being a
motif
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motivation
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 for
the
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apply
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children . Simultaneously,
this
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 might open an array of opportunities for the deprived,highly gifted children.

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structure
Plan your essay in a simple map: intro with your view, two body paragraphs with main ideas, then a short conclusion that restates your view.
coherence
Keep one idea in each paragraph and use clear link words to move from one idea to the next (for example, also, but, however, and thus).
language
Use clear, correct grammar and easy words. Avoid big errors that make the meaning hard to read.
content
You show both sides of the issue and give your view.
examples
You use some real examples from places like England and Iran.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • grassroots sports
  • lifelong love for physical activity
  • physical well-being
  • teamwork
  • discipline
  • perseverance
  • nurture potential talent
  • healthier societies
  • accessibility
  • inclusivity
  • national pride
  • unity
  • economic boost
  • global recognition
  • balanced approach
  • elite sports
  • funding
  • long-term benefits
  • exposure to sports
  • youth sports
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