some say that because many people are living much longer , the age at which people retire from work should be raised considerably . to what extent do you agree or disagree ?

#say #people #age #work

According to W.H.O, Vietnam is one of the countries with the fastest ageing pace and the level of citizens above 60 is projected to be 61% of the population in 2050.

This

may lead to a rapid increase in demand for geriatric care services and facilities. Correspondingly, the development and implementation of digital

health

services could be very beneficial as it helps reduce treatment

cost

Fix the agreement mistake

costs

show examples

, avoid preventable diseases and improve

quality

Correct article usage

the quality

show examples

of life of both patients and caregivers.

Moreover

, the global eHealth market is a prominent industry

that is

forecasted to grow rapidly in the coming years. Since 2018, the Vietnamese

Health

Minister has implemented a new policy that promotes electronic

health

record

Fix the agreement mistake

records

show examples

and the integration of technology into medical institutions in Vietnam.

Consequently

, there will be a growing demand for qualified

health

informatics professionals in the future I choose to

further

my education at

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

Dalhousie University not only for the globally recognized academic standard but

also

for

amazing

Add an article

an amazing

show examples

customized program that provides flexibility for students to orientate their career choice within three areas:

health

informatics, data science and business. I am confident that I would receive the best education possible from

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

Dalhousie’s digital innovation master program that will help me become a qualified

health

informatician. As a student who is interested in the study

about

Change preposition

show examples

the application of big data analytics and Artificial Intelligence in

healthcare

Add an article

the healthcare

show examples

sector, I am thrilled that the Computer Science Faculty at Dalhousie is the home of state-of-the-art research institutes in

this

field.

Moreover

, as a student at Dalhousie University, I may have a chance to learn and consult with exceptional award-winning scientists from engineering to healthcare on my research.

Accordingly

, learners will be more versatile in the changeable tech industry and become cognizant of current technology that potential employers are functioning.

Submitted by npanhtuan09 on Sat Jan 08 2022

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Grammar mistakes
 

2 paragraphs

299 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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some say that because many people are living much longer , the age at which people retire from work should be raised considerably . to what extent do you agree or disagree ?

Include an introduction and conclusion

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

The use of social media, e.g. Facebook and Twitter, is replacing face-to-face contact for many people in everyday life. Do the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Wealthy nations should assist poorer countries with humanitarian relief during natural disasters

The debate exists on whether young people should have the freedom to select their own profession or if they should adopt a pragmatic approach, considering their future more seriously. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

In many countries children are engaged in some kind of paid work . some people regard this as completely wrong , while others consider it valuable work experience , important for learning and taking responsibility . What are your opinion on this ?

Some people believe that unpaid community service should be a compulsory part of high school programs (for example working on charity, teaching sport to younger people) To what extent do you agree or disagree?