IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5

Traffic and housing problems could be solved by moving large companies, factories and their employees to the countryside. Do you agree or disagree? You should write at least 254 words.

#traffic #companies #factories #employees #countryside
The shifting of large companies to rural
areas
 has been considered as one of the best solutions for
traffic
 congestion and housing
problems
.
However
, l completely disagree with that statement. In
this
 ,essay l will discuss
this
 fact giving examples from society to demonstrate points and support arguments. At ,present with the continuously rising human population people have to deal with
traffic
 and housing
problems
. These
problems
 are worsened in urban
areas
. Because in cities all these facilities and other infrastructures should be established in a limited space. The movement of large factories, companies, and their employees to rural
areas
 has been identified as the solution for these
problems
.
However
, according to my point of view,
this
 is not the best solution for these
problems
. Because, around the
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
worldB
Correct your spelling
world
 about 50% of the global population is concentrated in urban
areas
 due to the availability of job opportunities, educational opportunities, other facilities and so on.
Therefore
, the movement of people's working places is not the best answer for these
problems
.
Traffic
 congestion can be answered by establishing a proper road network with good conditions, improving public transportation, and introducing alternatives to travel.
For instance
, if we develop good public transport system people will use it
instead
 of driving their own vehicle.
Then
 automatically the number of vehicles on the road get reduced.
Moreover
, rather than moving factories, and other large workplaces to the countryside, the housing problem could be solved by introducing vertical buildings,
such
 as apartments, and housing schemes. Because
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 to do that even a limited space is enough. As
such
 it can be concluded that
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
traffic
 and housing
problems
 could be solved practically by improving infrastructure facilities, and constructions in a sustainable manner
instead
 of relocating factories and companies to the countryside.
Submitted by tharukaperera141 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • traffic congestion
  • housing problems
  • countryside
  • large companies
  • factories
  • employees
  • urban areas
  • land availability
  • relocate
  • stimulate economic development
  • challenges
  • infrastructure
  • transportation
  • rural areas
What to do next:
Look at other essays: