many graduates want to start their first job in a big corporation. many others prefer to work for a small company first. compare and contrast their choices and express your opinion

#graduates #first #job #corporation #work #company #contrast #choices

nowadays, there are many

graduates

who want to start their

first

job

in a big

company

while

others prefer to start their

first

job

in a small

company

first

this

essay will discuss both views of

this

statement on the one hand, many

graduates

want to start

the

Change the word

their

show examples

first

job

at a big corporation

due to

it is the dream of many

people

. working for a big

company

for

Change preposition

show examples

the

first

job

helps

people

to have more

experiment

Replace the word

experience

show examples

in their career and

also

have more

chance

Fix the agreement mistake

chances

show examples

compere

Correct your spelling

compete

show examples

with other

people

to have a higher position or higher salary.

in addition

, beginning a career with a big

company

makes the CV

looks

Correct subject-verb agreement

look

show examples

nice and can have a better impression with the next

company

however

, working in a big corporation for the

first

job

can be tough and stressful

due to

the number of tasks and deadlines.

on the other hand

, some

people

prefer to work for a small

company

first

because there are many small companies which are hiring many

people

at a time.

therefore

graduates

will have more chances to get a

job

in addition

, starting the

first

job

at a small

company

still

have

Correct subject-verb agreement

has

show examples

some

experiment

Fix the agreement mistake

experiments

show examples

but

graduates

do not have to compete with many rivals or have a huge amount of work to do.

in contrast

, working in a small

company

may not receive a high salary and

graduates

may have to change companies many times to have more experiments.

for instance

, there are many

graduates

who do many jobs at one time because working at a small

company

does not have enough money to pay for bills and other aspects

Change preposition

show examples

life

to sum up

, there are both advantages and disadvantages to working for a big or a small

company

and in my point of view, I believe that starting the

first

job

at a big

company

is much better

although

it may have to compete with many

people

and

stressful

Add a missing verb

be stressful

show examples

Submitted by trangdt0309 on Sun Jan 09 2022

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task response

Use more specific examples and evidence to support your points.

coherence and cohesion

Provide a clearer structure and connection between your ideas and paragraphs.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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12Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
5Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
10Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

326 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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many graduates want to start their first job in a big corporation. many others prefer to work for a small company first. compare and contrast their choices and express your opinion

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

In some countries, the role of a mother differs in some ways from the role of a father. Why do you think these differences exist? How might parental roles develop in the future?

The internet has changed the way we communicate. Much communication today happens through social media. Some people support this and think it is a positive development. Others believe that social media have negative effects. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Some people think that children should only read academic books. Others believe that reading books for pleasure is equally important. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Many things can influence the academic achievement and emotional growth of a student. In this regard, peers have more of an impact than teachers do. To what extend do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

Differences between countries are becoming less evident. Nowadays people are watching the same films, fashion, brands, advertisements and TV channels. To whta extent do the disadvantages of this outweigh the advantages?