IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

‘Everybody should donate a fixed amount of their income to support charity.’ How far do you share this viewpoint?

#‘everybody #amount #income #support #charity
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It is advisable that everybody should donate a fixed
amount
Use synonyms
 of their
income
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 to charity.
This
Linking Words
 idea seems to me to be a social duty, and it is
also
Linking Words
 desirable to encourage most
people
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 to pursue
this
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. First of all, provided that
people
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 had facilities to help the destitute conscientiously, they would be contented and happier. Donators would find themselves more efficient and valuable.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, in most civilized countries, different NGOs help
people
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in
Change preposition
with
show examples
 various matters
such
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 as health issues, financial problems, immigration difficulties, educational support, handicap facilities, and children's foundations. Governments usually can not support these organizations and pass affairs
due to
Linking Words
people
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's help. I accept that
government
Correct article usage
the government
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 is responsible for social matters. Despite
this
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, everybody
would have
Wrong verb form
has
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 duties
about
Change preposition
apply
show examples
them
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
, and we have to help poor
people
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 in different situations. It might be said that average
income
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 is not a fixed
amount
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, and
people
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 would have a decline based on inflation,
also
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 saving will enhance the fund and improve the level of life.
While
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 it may be correct that saving will
be helped
Wrong verb form
help
show examples
 considerably, we can be satisfied only when the
people
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 around us are happy. Observing poor
people
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 surrounding a community would suffer
sensible
Change the word
sensibly
show examples
such
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 as children and youngsters. In my concept, donating a fixed
amount
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 of
income
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 to different charities would make society more powerful and satisfied and would
also
Linking Words
 solve the other’s problems. It may be logical that some citizens can not regularly allocate a part of their wages to charities
due to
Linking Words
 financial difficulties.
However
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, it could be a negative factor in social sympathy which will be a great deal in the long term. It is sensible
to conclude
Linking Words
 that donating a fixed
amount
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 of
people
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's
income
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 to support charity would improve our society's happiness and satisfaction and upgrade our spiritual and self-confidence.
Submitted by TUTOO on

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task response
Provide more specific examples and evidence to support your points.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that the essay follows a clear and logical structure with appropriate paragraphing.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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