IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

‘Everybody should donate a fixed amount of their income to support charity.’ How far do you share this viewpoint?

#‘everybody #amount #income #support #charity
It is advisable that everybody should donate a fixed
amount
 of their
income
 to charity.
This
 idea seems to me to be a social duty, and it is
also
 desirable to encourage most
people
 to pursue
this
. First of all, provided that
people
 had facilities to help the destitute conscientiously, they would be contented and happier. Donators would find themselves more efficient and valuable.
Furthermore
, in most civilized countries, different NGOs help
people
in
Change preposition
with
show examples
 various matters
such
 as health issues, financial problems, immigration difficulties, educational support, handicap facilities, and children's foundations. Governments usually can not support these organizations and pass affairs
due to
people
's help. I accept that
government
Correct article usage
the government
show examples
 is responsible for social matters. Despite
this
, everybody
would have
Wrong verb form
has
show examples
 duties
about
Change preposition
apply
show examples
them
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
, and we have to help poor
people
 in different situations. It might be said that average
income
 is not a fixed
amount
, and
people
 would have a decline based on inflation,
also
 saving will enhance the fund and improve the level of life.
While
 it may be correct that saving will
be helped
Wrong verb form
help
show examples
 considerably, we can be satisfied only when the
people
 around us are happy. Observing poor
people
 surrounding a community would suffer
sensible
Change the word
sensibly
show examples
such
 as children and youngsters. In my concept, donating a fixed
amount
 of
income
 to different charities would make society more powerful and satisfied and would
also
 solve the other’s problems. It may be logical that some citizens can not regularly allocate a part of their wages to charities
due to
 financial difficulties.
However
, it could be a negative factor in social sympathy which will be a great deal in the long term. It is sensible
to conclude
 that donating a fixed
amount
 of
people
's
income
 to support charity would improve our society's happiness and satisfaction and upgrade our spiritual and self-confidence.
Submitted by TUTOO on

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task response
Provide more specific examples and evidence to support your points.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that the essay follows a clear and logical structure with appropriate paragraphing.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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