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Band 3.5

People living in the 21st century are enjoying better quality of life compared to people who lived in the previous centuries. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #st #century #quality #life #centuries
People
 often argued that the
citizen’s
Fix the agreement mistake
citizens’
show examples
 lives in
this
 era live
greater
Correct article usage
a greater
show examples
 way
living
Change preposition
of living
show examples
 compared to
past
Add an article
the past
show examples
 century, while others believe that
people
 who lived in those old days had
most
Correct article usage
the most
show examples
 comfortable
lifestyle
. In my
opinion
Add a comma
,opinion
show examples
 I
am partially agree
Change the verb form
partially agree
show examples
 with the statement. Nowadays
people
 have technology advancement and those days’
people
 had
free
Add an article
a free
show examples
lifestyle
.
First
 of all,
this
 essay will explain about
Add an article
the advantage
show examples
advantage
Fix the agreement mistake
advantages
show examples
 of
Correct article usage
the 21st
show examples
21st century
Add a hyphen
21st-century
show examples
lifestyle
. Nowadays
people
 have everything
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
 their fingertips because of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
technology improvement. What I am coming to say is that verities of entertainment facilities available at the moment whether it is outside event or at home.
For
instance
Add a comma
,instance
show examples
 most of the adults and younger generation
addicted
Add a missing verb
are addicted
show examples
 to video
gamed
Wrong verb form
games
show examples
such
 as play station and Xbox,
also
 they have kinds of home
theater
Change the spelling
theatre
show examples
 options and
traveling
Change the spelling
travelling
show examples
 plays
major
Add an article
a major
show examples
 part
for
Change preposition
in
show examples
different
Add an article
a different
show examples
lifestyle
Fix the agreement mistake
lifestyles
show examples
.
Thus
people
 who are living in
this
 period have
better
Add an article
a better
show examples
lifestyle
 than older
people
 in previous centuries.
Secondly
, early days
people
 had different
lifestyle
 compared to these days, which they had different variations of interaction between
people
,
therefore
 In conclusion, Humans who lived in the past period had more
I
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
person interaction and,
However
in my opinion
Add the comma(s)
, in my opinion,
show examples
 I conclude that humans they have lived in the past centuries and
also
 in
this
 centuries
has
Change the verb form
have
show examples
 their own way of
better
Add an article
a better
show examples
lifestyle
.
Submitted by rmohamed2005 on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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