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Band 4

Many students now have the opportunity to study in other countries. Studying abroad may bring some benefits to some students, but it also has a significant number of disadvantages. Discuss both sides of the argument and give your own opinion

#students #opportunity #study #countries #argument
Nowadays, with the
world
 becoming more globalized students have more
opportunity
Fix the agreement mistake
opportunities
show examples
 to
study
 in other
countries
. Even within my
country
, I see a
lot
 of
people
 including my friends go to
other
Change the wording
another country
other countries
show examples
country
 to continue their
study
Fix the agreement mistake
studies
show examples
. I think the advantages will outweigh the disadvantages.
Such
 example would be,
people
 from a developing
country
 go
study
 in a developed
country
 and return to their
home
country
 bringing
knowledge
 with them, but
this
also
 means
people
 can
also
 not return to their
home
country
 and continue living in the other
country
. I saw
this
 a
lot
 within my own
country
, a developing
country
.
People
 go to developed
countries
 to
study
 and end up
continue
Wrong verb form
continuing
show examples
 living
there after
Correct your spelling
thereafter
show examples
 they finished their
study
Fix the agreement mistake
studies
show examples
. Even though, it is fully their right to choose whether to return or not. By not returning
home
, they cannot apply their
knowledge
 in their
home
country
. It means there will be no
knowledge
 transfers, which
probably
Add a missing verb
is probably
show examples
 one of the many reasons
as
Change preposition
apply
show examples
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
why these developed
countries
 open up opportunities for
people
 that want to
study
 in their
countries
. Even though,
such
 disadvantage occurs lots of time. I
also
 saw
people
returned
Wrong verb form
return
show examples
 from their studies and bring their
knowledge
 back to be applied within the
country
. I think
is
Correct pronoun usage
that is
show examples
 why the advantages outweigh the disadvantages. There are a
lot
these
Change preposition
of these
show examples
people
, which will help to distribute
knowledge
 and help
people
 within their
country
. If these opportunities are given to a
lot
 of
people
 from all over the
world
, it will
also
 help a
lot
 of
people
 in the future. In conclusion, I think the benefits given to these students will be an advantage that will outweigh a
lot
 of disadvantages. Students from a developing
country
 will be able to bring back the
knowledge
 they learned from a developed
country
. I think
this
 will be a good thing for the future of the
world
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 because
this
 enables the distribution of
knowledge
 throughout the
world
.
Submitted by izzyengelbert on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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