Providing a national system in country where the unemployed receive a regular payment only encourage people not to seek work and puts an unreasonable strain on country’s financial resources. Discuss this statement and give your opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your knowledge or experience.

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It is true that

money

Use synonyms

has an inevitable role in the life of human beings. Some counties financially support their unemployed citizens by providing them with regular payments which in turn is an extra burden for the

authorities

Use synonyms

itself

Correct pronoun usage

themselves

show examples

. I will discuss

this

Linking Words

view in

this

Linking Words

essay before arriving at an opinion of mine. On the one hand, it is argued by many that, it is really a blessing for the unemployed when

authorities

Use synonyms

provide some monthly or weekly payment for them.

This

Linking Words

would mean that

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

common man who

have

Change the verb form

has

show examples

no job

also

Linking Words

need to pay rent for their residence, water bill, electricity bill, need to buy groceries and so on. Public who have no income may depend on

money

Use synonyms

lenders and

as a result

Linking Words

, their debt would

rose

Wrong verb form

rise

show examples

up.

Then

Linking Words

finally

Add a comma

,finally

show examples

jobless

people

Use synonyms

become homeless and at the extreme end, as daily lots of news are reported on

people

Use synonyms

committing suicide due to debt through media. So, if they get

money

Use synonyms

from

nation

Correct article usage

the nation

show examples

, they can

also

Linking Words

lead a quality life.

Hence

Linking Words

it is the responsibility of the government to give a hand to jobless individuals by giving them

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

regular payment till they become independent. On the downside, if

authorities

Use synonyms

help

unemployed

Correct article usage

the unemployed

show examples

by providing

money

Use synonyms

it would make them dependent. To

specific

Add a missing verb

be specific

show examples

, there is a chance that

people

Use synonyms

become too lazy and

individual

Fix the agreement mistake

individuals

show examples

never search for a job as they have enough

money

Use synonyms

getting on a regular basis.

Thus

Linking Words

, it would be

extra

Add an article

an extra

show examples

burden for the country as a whole which would

otherwise

Linking Words

, can use that cash for the overall development of the country.

Moreover

Linking Words

, some

people

Use synonyms

get too high

money

Use synonyms

through

national

Correct article usage

the national

show examples

payment system than the salary they will get if they go

for

Change preposition

show examples

work. In

such

Linking Words

a case there is a chance for

people

Use synonyms

exploiting

Change the verb form

to exploit

show examples

the government system.

For instance

Linking Words

, in Australia,

authorities

Use synonyms

provide unemployed different benefits rather than regular national payments as jobless get a reduction in electricity

bill

Fix the agreement mistake

bills

show examples

and in

health

Add an article

the health

show examples

sector

also

Linking Words

Thus

Linking Words

, individuals think it is better to stay without

job

Add an article

a job

show examples

. As a consequence, a good number of

people

Use synonyms

think providing financial assistance to

jobless

Correct article usage

the jobless

show examples

make them lethargic and dependent. In conclusion after

analysis

Replace the word

analysing

show examples

both

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

perspective

Add a comma

,perspective

show examples

I am of the opinion that

positives

Correct article usage

the positives

show examples

outweigh the negative side as

jobless

Correct article usage

the jobless

show examples

also

Linking Words

have the right to live in society. I think in future

also

Linking Words

this

Linking Words

trend would likely to continue.

divyaesa2012Tue Jan 11 2022

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Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

11
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
23
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

396 words

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Some people say that the best way to improve public health is by increasing the number of sports facilities. Others, however, say that this would have little effect on public health and that other measures are required. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
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Word Count

T WHEN ASKED TO CHOOSE BETWEEN A LIFE WITHOUT WORK AND WORKING MOST OF THE TIME, PEOPLE WOULD ALWAYS CHOOSE NOT TO WORK. DO YOU AGREE OR DISAGREE WITH THIS STATEMENT?

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Some people say that the best way to improve public health is by increasing the number of sports facilities. Others, however, say that this would have little effect on public health and that other measures are required. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.