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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Nowadays celebrities earn more money than politicians. What are the reasons for this? It is a positive or negative development?

#celebrities #money #politicians #development
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Recently, many famous
people
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 are richer than politicians, the main reasons for these are the changes in advertisement and the government
jobs
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 seeing as community
jobs
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. I consider a negative development as
people
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prefers
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prefer
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other kind
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another kind
other kinds
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 of education and
jobs
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. There are some reasons for
this
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 change,
firstly
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 with the attention given to the social network and their constant increase in numbers, advertisement rises inevitably
in
Change preposition
on
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 platforms like Instagram or Facebook, and
therefore
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 almost every company decides to pay
to
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apply
show examples
celebrities for those advertisements that previously were doing by tv channels or physical publicity.
For example
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, is known that Kim Kardashian gets around six figures for sponsoring in some social network a new drink or pharmaceutical product.
Moreover
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, in many countries the government
jobs
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 as seen as community
jobs
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 with great value to
the
Correct article usage
apply
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society, yet the financial retribution is less than other careers.
In other words
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, a certain number of public administrations considers the politicians are similar to firefighters, rescuers and even healthcare workers, and
consequently
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 their payment is lower than other professions.
For
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To
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 illustrate
this
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, in countries like Sweden or Finland,
people
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 who work in public departments earn
lowest
Correct article usage
the lowest
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 salaries compare to countries in the Americas. Considering the previous explanation, I strongly believe it is not fair to find
this
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 gap in salaries between politicians and famous
people
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, since usually, the former plays a significant role in society as they decide about the future of each nation. Having a gigantic difference in salaries
,
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apply
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 could provoke in the following generations
an
Correct your spelling
and
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 increase in entertainment
jobs
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 leaving behind other important professions.
For instance
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, nowadays the percentage of
people
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 that are choosing to apply to university or college is fewer than before, as they often wish to become celebrities on social networks
instead
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 of
study
Wrong verb form
studying
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 SOMETHING FORMAL
such
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 as politics, engineering, law or medicine. In conclusion,
people
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 who work for the public area gain less than celebrities because of social change and
therefore
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 we are facing a negative transformation. I firmly believe that should be regulated by every country in order to have more balance in society.
Submitted by camilacorredorcasas on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • endorsements
  • revenue streams
  • global presence
  • diversified branding
  • income sources
  • free-market principles
  • market value
  • government budgets
  • public funds
  • public perception
  • value generation
  • bureaucratic
  • consumer spending
  • economic implications
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