Some people say that subjects like arts, music, drama and creative writing are more beneficial to children and therefore they need more of these subjects to be included in the timetable. Do you agree or disagree?

A school of thought holds that
art
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classes should be mandatory in the timetable because they are essential for the holistic development of children. Personally, I totally disagree with
this
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perception
due to
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the following reasons. From a practical standpoint, compulsory
art
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lessons would add to children’s already demanding schedules, intensifying stress and reducing time for subjects linked to academic achievement and career prospects,
such
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as mathematics, science, and technology.
This
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is particularly problematic for those with little interest or aptitude for
art
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, as they may disengage,underperform, and experience burnout.
Furthermore
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, in competitive job markets, strong foundations in STEM and languages are often more beneficial, which is why many high-performing education systems,
such
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as Singapore’s, prioritise these subjects
while
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keeping
art
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as an optional enrichment. Supporters of compulsory
art
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classes argue that
art
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nurtures creativity, fine motor skills, and emotional expression, which contribute to holistic development.
While
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this
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is valid,
such
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skills do not require a separate mandatory subject. Creativity can be fostered within existing courses—through design projects in technology, visual elements in science presentations, or creative writing in language classes—or via extracurricular activities.
Additionally
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, there are various approaches to encourage the creation of subjects apart from taking courses alone.
For instance
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, the government should issue policies or the education sector must support the cost of artwork exhibitions, museums, or workshops to be accessible to people of all incomes.
This
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integrated approach allows youngsters to enjoy the benefits of
art
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without compromising their academic priorities. In conclusion,
although
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art
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has undeniable developmental value, including it in the timetable risks overburdening the youth and diminishing focus on essential academic disciplines. Encouraging
art
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through optional classes and cross-curricular activities may offer a more balanced and effective way to cultivate creativity.

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task response
Task response: You take a clear view and give good reasons. To lift the score, add more strong facts or examples and link them clearly to your main point.
coherence and cohesion
Coherence and cohesion: The order of ideas is clear and you use linking words. Improve by adding more sign posts and by starting each paragraph with a main idea.
strength
Clear stance on the topic
strength
Good essay structure with intro, body, and conclusion
strength
Use of a real example (Singapore) to back points
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