Crime appears to be rising in most countries in the world, especially among young people. Identify the possible causes of this trend, and propose some solutions you think would be effective.

Crime
among young
people
seem
Change the verb form
seems
show examples
to be rising in many countries. The causes of
this
appear to be focused on two areas, and a number of solutions
also
appear to be possible. Perhaps the major factor is
lack
Correct article usage
the lack
show examples
of
parent
Replace the word
parental
show examples
upbringing of their
children
. Most
crime
Fix the agreement mistake
crimes
show examples
committed by young derived from their parents who do not respond well to the needs of their
children
and provide little affection,
support
Correct word choice
or support
show examples
. Some parents
also
make very few demands on their
children
.
This
go
Change the verb form
goes
show examples
a long
way
in their
behavior
Change the spelling
behaviour
show examples
at
Change preposition
in
show examples
the societies at large. Another cause is
lack
Correct article usage
the lack
show examples
of
job
Fix the agreement mistake
jobs
show examples
. Most
part time
Add a hyphen
part-time
show examples
work tends to be poorly paid, with the result that those
people
and their family members need to meet the finding a
way
to provide their daily needs. Turning to the possible solutions,
obvious
Correct article usage
an obvious
show examples
step
Fix the agreement mistake
steps
show examples
would be taken by
parent
Add an article
a parent
show examples
to restore moral values to their
children
.
This
can go a long
way
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
crime
reduction. If we took
this
step it would reduce
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
crime
of young
people
a long
way
. A second remedy might be for the State should look into the policies
that
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
to provide
consistency
Replace the word
consistent
show examples
work place
which
Correct word choice
where
show examples
young
people
can afford essential experience for their future
career
Fix the agreement mistake
careers
show examples
. If
such
jobs were more available, it would reduce the issue of living expenses to some extent.
Finally
, young
people
themselves should perhaps be more flexible in their attitude. In summary, the factors of having
a careless parents
Correct the article-noun agreement
careless parents
a careless parent
show examples
and unemployment appear to be the main causes. A coordinated response by the state,
Correct article usage
the parent’s
show examples
parent’s responsibility
Change noun form
parents
show examples
and the individuals may well lessen the severity of the situation.
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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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