IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people believe that the government should spend more money putting in more works of art like paintings and statues in cities to make them better places to live in. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #government #money #works #art #paintings #statues #cities #places
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Art
Use synonyms
 creations can definitely provide an individual
Add the preposition
with a
show examples
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
perception of beauty
specially
Replace the word
especially
show examples
 if it is always at their sight.
This
Linking Words
 comes into thinking that it should be placed in a
city
Use synonyms
 to make it better for living.
However
Linking Words
, I disagree with
this
Linking Words
 idea which I will explain in
this
Linking Words
 essay. There are those who insist that the imposition of painting and artistic sculptures makes a
city
Use synonyms
 fascinating and inhabitable.
This
Linking Words
 can be for the reason that
art
Use synonyms
 can be eye-
cathcing
Correct your spelling
catching
 can somehow provide
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
positive energy to those who
appreciates
Change the verb form
appreciate
show examples
 it.
However
Linking Words
, the beauty of the
city
Use synonyms
 doe not completely rely on its superficial attractions and not many citizens find
this
Linking Words
art
Use synonyms
 significant to their lives.
Therefore
Linking Words
, government allocation for
this
Linking Words
 proposal may lead to
waste
Correct article usage
a waste
show examples
 of money,
Linking Words
instead
Add a comma
,instead
show examples
 money should be reserved for the benefit of the
Use synonyms
society
Replace the word
social
show examples
 health and education sector are good examples. Another point to consider is that I believe that money should be spent on the sectors that will favour the
society
Use synonyms
 directly and not on the beautification of the
city
Use synonyms
 is because it is more essential to allocate on the education of the people
such
Linking Words
 as upgrading the technological materials used for teaching, providing enough learning tools for the learners and enough funds for educational activities to aid both teachers and students
instead
Linking Words
 of budgeting for the beautification of the
city
Use synonyms
 through artistic skills.
As a result
Linking Words
, individuals will grow into a more educated and knowledgeable
person
Fix the agreement mistake
people
show examples
,
Linking Words
this
Correct determiner usage
these
show examples
 attributes of an individual may contribute to the well being of a person and
consequently
Linking Words
 provide a harmonious community that makes a place fit to live in. In conclusion, I strongly disagree that instilling
art
Use synonyms
 can turn a
city
Use synonyms
 into a good living condition.
Linking Words
Instead
Add a comma
,Instead
show examples
 funds for the
bettement
Correct your spelling
betterment
 of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society
Use synonyms
such
Linking Words
 as spending more on
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
education can make a better
society
Use synonyms
 as educated individuals make up an inhabitable environment.
Submitted by salve.abola on

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