Many adults nowadays prefer spending their free time playing computer games. Is this a positive or negative development?

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In
this
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fast-evolving world, with the advent of technology, numerous people squander most of their time in front of screens as a form of leisure rather than
relishing
Verb problem
relying
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in
Change preposition
on
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outdoor activities. Today addiction towards computer games has tremendously risen not only among youngsters but is observed in adults too.
However
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, I completely affirm that spending enormous freedom on gaming can result in escalating loneliness and depleting productivity. It is irrefutable that playing computer games for longer durations without rest leads individuals to glue their eyes on the screen thereby compelling them to sit in the same position for an extremely prolonged duration.
In addition
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to
this
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, there will be less interaction with friends and family because they will indulge themselves in their own virtual world.
As a result
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,
this
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adversely affects their mental and physical well-being giving rise to depression.
This
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would not
be
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have been
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possible had the time spent were not colossal.
For instance
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, players playing Counter-Strike are found to be more aggressive and short-tempered.
Besides
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this
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, owing to the fact that even during work, people tend to
wonder
Correct your spelling
wander
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day in and day out about gaming making them lose their focus.
Hence
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, because of
this
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, they do not pay heed to their work and delay their activities.
Therefore
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, it becomes exceptionally arduous for them to achieve targets and complete their goals overwhelming the fact that
such
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a habit is quite hazardous for one’s life.
For example
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, a recent study revealed that gamers who spent more than 15 hours gaming have been found to be victims of anxiety, insomnia and obesity leading them to face troubles
while
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at work
due to
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lesser concentration.
To sum up
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,
although
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playing games can be accepted to a certain extent, I am of the opinion that if
this
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continues for longer durations,
then
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it can have drastic repercussions not only on the individual but
also
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on the people around him.
Submitted by loveraha2021 on

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Task Response
In your introduction, clearly state your opinion on whether spending time playing computer games is a positive or negative development. Ensure that you address all parts of the task prompt, fully discussing the advantages and disadvantages of this trend.
Coherence and Cohesion
Improve the coherence by organizing your ideas in a more structured manner. Use linking words and transition phrases to connect your sentences and paragraphs more effectively. Ensure each paragraph focuses on one main idea and logically progresses to the next.
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